MATTHEW BAUM
Staff Scallywag
The internet is an interesting and terrifying place. People who you’ve never met look right at you, say, “what’s up, guys!” and immediately start making bad decisions. It’s the future every concerned mom from the ‘80s was worried about their kids getting involved with. There are a few redeemable internet personalities — none of which I can name — but it’s a lot of hot sewage out there on the web.
Since the universal time-out is going on, humanity has turned its unrivaled attention to their screens, and this has caused some interesting trends to come back into the public eye.
The Tide Pod Challenge, which was a source of constant strife for healthcare officials in 2018, has made a resurgence (as if doctors need anything else on their plates!).There is a shared thought in the collective mind of the younger generations — those goddamn soap pods would be incredibly fun to bite into. This led a number of stupid teens with too much freedom to record themselves digging into a Tide pod and uploading onto the internet. What’s changed is who is participating. Now, C-list celebrities are picking up soap pods at the Dollar General and chomping on ‘em. The neighbors of Dule Hill recently called an ambulance in order to save him from a laundry-soap-related emergency.
Another internet craze stirring up the nation is the Cinnamon Challenge, which forces impressionable young minds to think, “Hey, do you know what’ll be a good idea? Swallowing a tablespoon of pure ground cinnamon!” It is clear to many why this trend fell to the wayside around 2014, but now the people who were interested at the time but too busy with real life are pulling out their silverware and making fools of themselves. Clayton Burroway, a sophomore ornithology major that I live close to, recently got a taste of both the bitter spice and the limelight. He posted a video of himself grabbing a soup ladle and nearly choking on the powder he filled it with to Tik Tok, and the video got an astounding 700 thousand views in two days. He is expected to make a full recovery.
This quarantine, do your best to not revive a moronic Internet trend. The world has enough problems right now; we don’t need anyone kick-starting the BirdBox Challenge again. Let’s all just stay home, stay healthy and stay safe.