HANNAH BLIDY
Staff Scallywag
Aries: have a glass of wine aries, you deserve it!! unless you are not of age. if you’re not 21, then you deserve tap water. sorry, i don’t make the rules. i just enforce them.
Taurus: i bet you were one of the kids who sent an essay to dr. kolison about how you just stayed inside and watched vampire diaries all night instead of going out on halloween.
Gemini: i hate that the starbucks on campus doesn’t allow you to redeem your points for free stuff. like what’s the deal with that? we should start a petition. because that’s what’s really important right now.
Cancer: we get it cancer, you’re a crybaby. but this isn’t middle school anymore! why do you keep posting black screens with the caption “nobody talk to me. real ones know what’s up,” on your snapchat story????
Leo: leo, i would love to know your opinion on the @ProBirdRights twitter account. please email me your thoughts. blid1198@fredonia.edu
Virgo: if you have an s.o., you should get matching pajamas and build a blanket fort w them. if you don’t, you should cry about it.
Libra: oh libra, how many times do i have to tell you this? not everything is about you!!! we all know you’re an attention whore but jeez, you don’t need to post “LMR” on your story every time you post a new instagram picture!
Scorpio: you forced your s.o. to wear a halloween costume just so you could post on the gram. typical scorpio. but hey, i bet you got lots of likes!
Sagittarius: if you’re reading this email me this phrase: “shakespeare was a weird guy, but he sure was sexy.” check leo for my email.
Capricorn: hey, do you watch the office? i couldn’t tell from the fact that you’ve went as three hole punch jim for halloween the past six years.
Aquarius: hey don’t forget about your discussion posts! and by that i mean don’t forget to NOT do them.<3
Pisces: your favorite pop is mountain dew and i mean that in the worst way possible.