The Leader
Scallion

Horoscopes

HANNAH BLIDY

Staff Scallywag 

Aries: You will become complacent these next 4 years. <3

Taurus: Stop being mean to your hot gamer gf. :/

Gemini: You’re boolin. Everything will stay the same. 🙂

Cancer: You will get a 4 for 4 this week. At the red-head girl place.

Leo: Someone will tell you their true feelings for you.

Virgo: You gotta shoot your shot my friend.

Libra: Just write your fucking essay already dude. 

Scorpio: Things are lookin’ up, kid.

Sagittarius: You’re gonna get a really great grade! AND it’s gonna boost your self-esteem!

Capricorn: Pick your own horoscope. Any of the above. 

Aquarius: Manifest that B- pal!!

Pisces: Nope. Just nope.

Related posts

[SATIRE] Horoscopes and it’s the same but I’m an alum so it’s different 

Contributor to The Leader

Horoscopes: What should your sign dress up as for Halloween?

Abbie Miller

Why do 10-year-olds think they’re better than me at Dress to Impress?

Contributor to The Leader

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. By clicking any link on this page, you are permitting us to set cookies. Accept Read More