MATTHEW BAUM
Assistant Scallion Editor
Well, another football season has come and gone.
While fans across the country cheered, families remarked about the sub-par commercials this year and Tom Brady has once again managed to make more money than I will ever have in the span of nine months.
With all that being said, there was a suspicious lack of scandal surrounding the halftime show this year.
When pop icon, The Weeknd took to the field, there were no gaffs, no failings, and no parents worried for their children’s eyes and imaginations.
What nobody has yet to discuss is the abhorrent lack of John Leguizamo and Casey Affleck, suggested by yours truly nearly a year ago. Who’d’ve thought that my words of advice would be so recklessly ignored.
Oh, if you ask anyone, they’ll say they had no problems with the halftime show! Obviously it wasn’t the most exciting, but it was a nice performance!
Only problem is, they forgot the two goofy men that would have balanced out the show!
Our generation, the children of the information age, have moved past the need for cohesive music and now crave a stronger thrill. Our craving is not for a polished routine, but instead for meme fodder — the fumblings and failings of the social elite that remind us that they, too, are only human.
Here’s the thing. Had the coordinators even taken my suggestion into consideration, they would’ve been privy to an onslaught of support from Gen Z, especially those who would have been watching not for the sportsmanship or the art, but for the pure nonsense of it all.
How hard could it have been, really? How much effort, time and money would have had to go into hiring John and Casey to hang out in front of cameras for 15 minutes? Hardly any, I would guess.
So, nobody heeded my advice. Seriously, nobody.
Sure, I’m not affiliated with the National Football League, and sure, I’m only the Assistant Scallion Editor as of now, but I still feel like my suggestion would have created a memorable, and more importantly, meme-able performance.
So much of the last year has been a constant downward spiral for countless families, and I think having two B-tier celebrities joining the madness that is a COVID-conscious Super Bowl would have been just one bright spot in an otherwise miserable year.
Super Bowl halftime shows aren’t meant to be brilliant performances by renowned musicians, like the one we got this year, but instead a hodge-podge of silly moments, Tweetable slip-ups and jokes that live on Facebook pages for weeks to come.