The Leader
Scallion

Horoscopes

HANNAH BLIDY

Staff Scallywag 

How the signs spend their mental health days

aries: definitely not the homework they’ve been meaning to do since week 2

taurus: listening to chug jug with you 12 hour version 

gemini: playing modded minecraft for the entire day, only stopping to piss and eat pizza

cancer: doin’ homework like a lame-o

leo: eating exactly 13 and a half pineapples

virgo: hotbox but with cigarettes

libra: smoking……… herbs. you know, like roses… and stuff…

scorpio: Making Enemies

sagittarius: pissin in a jar

capricorn: sorry idk about capricorn no one ever talks about you on tiktok 

aquarius: listening to rick astley’s never gonna give you up 8 hour version 

pisces: idk probably crying

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