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[SATIRE] A list of my NFTs

JAY BYRON
Staff Scallywag

Hey there. Just wanted to post an article showing how absolutely ridiculously baller I am.

Unfortunately, I was told I have to actually give you a definition of what an NFT is, and I can hardly even describe it myself despite being the most successful NFT owner in the whole world.

NFT stands for “non-fungible token.” It basically represents photos, videos and digital stuff. It’s like fine art collecting but through the internet. Well, more like a trading card, sort of. Ever seen the Logan Paul Pokemon card NFT? (If your answer is no, be thankful.) It’s a little more complicated than that, but if I’m being honest, I don’t know how else I’m supposed to put it. Just know I’m really cool and better than you for owning NFTs.

I wanted to show everyone the NFTs I have collected. I also named them all because I am attached.

“Mmmmm” was one of my very first NFTs. I don’t know what else to say besides I get very emotional looking at it.
This is “Hgnnnghghhghn.” I just love the intricate details. The difference of color, ooh, hot dang. Only a true fellow of taste could have created this (and owned it). It’s uber rare.
This one is “Seinfeld” which is definitely not named after anything.

Look, the guitar is a fish! Or is the fish a guitar? Whatever it is, this is a rad cat NFT. (Can I just say I ACTUALLY like this one and wanna get it tattooed on my body??? Are they gonna delete this comment from the article??? You can’t rip me from my creative process though, okay).

I named this one “stupid” because art is stupid and shouldn’t be allowed.
Finally, we have “bingo bongo.” Very special to me. Maybe to you, too.

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