The Leader
Scallion

[SATIRE] Some thoughts on the Ukraine crisis, from a very sympathetic acting major

Terrible stick figures on sticky notes by Jules Hoepting because it was 3 a.m. and she couldn’t think of a good image to put with this article.

MATTHEW BAUM 

Scallion Editor and The Future of Musical Theatre

Let’s also start strong, be aware I’m satirizing. It’s satire, I promise. For further information on the invasion being carried out by Russia in Ukraine, look somewhere that’s not The Scallion. 

The events and attacks taking place in Ukraine are horrendous. The inhumane attacks against civilian forces is unconscionable, and anyone in their right mind would wholeheartedly support Ukrainian fundraisers and humanitarian efforts. 

But, at the same time…

I’m not saying it will be soon, and in fact, I can’t stress enough my desire to request support for those living through the situation in Ukraine, but in ten years? I’d bet my buttons that some Broadway producer will find a deep-cut script for a heart-wrenching and deeply moving musical that high schoolers and — more importantly — investors will gobble up. 

I take no pride in it. Let that be very clear. But also, I feel like it’s a matter of time! There’s a Titanic musical. Titanic. Not even based on the movie, get it? It’s crazy. The sinking of the RMS Titanic resulting in thousands of deaths… is a musical. The worst part of it all is that it’s a very good show. Damn it! 

Another example is “Come From Away” — a beautiful show about a horrendous tragedy. It’s a show about the “plane people” who landed in a small town in Canada after the initial events of 9/11. Why is this a musical? More to the point, is this the best choice for us as a society?

The answer that jumps to my mind, and again, I mean down the line, is yes. I won’t do it, and I probably won’t be a part of it, but since I see a pattern, I’m sure it will happen. Is it a good thing? No. Will Volodymyr Zelenskyy be portrayed by a very handsome and talented actor/singer? I can’t say no in good conscience.  

With this in mind, continue to support Ukraine during the current situation. And in a very reasonable number of years, be sure to look out for a hugely inspiring and slightly distasteful musical that will be sure to rake in millions for the bigwigs who decide what entertains the masses. 

Related posts

Ranking Politicians’ Merch

Contributor to The Leader

 Humans steal jobs created for AI: The irony of automation in reverse

Contributor to The Leader

[SATIRE] Horoscopes and it’s the same but I’m an alum so it’s different 

Contributor to The Leader

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. By clicking any link on this page, you are permitting us to set cookies. Accept Read More