MEGAN KIDBY
Guest Scallywag
Welcome to Megan’s Movie Corner. In this article, and hopefully other articles, I’m going to describe to you a movie that hasn’t been released yet based on the trailer or trailers that have been released.
In today’s article I’m going to describe to you the movie “Nope” from the director Jordan Peele. Now, I’m sure you’re thinking, “Megan! What gives you the right to judge movies based on just the trailers?” Well, I’m currently working at a movie theater this summer and I have seen almost every trailer for these new movies at least one million times. I can recite most trailers front to back like it’s nothing. Trust me, I definitely have the right to do this. And who are you to question my expertise? Buzz off.
In this movie, True Jackson VP and the guy who almost got killed in “Get Out” run a horse training ranch that is infested with wacky inflatable arm-flailing tubemen. Their power goes out in their house while True Jackson is listening to her favorite song (which sadly isn’t “Someday” from the Rags soundtrack. Points off for that).
After this, the “Get Out” dude and one of his horses see this white light at the end of the road. The horse, knowing that it’s in a horror movie trailer, gets out of there as fast as it can.
Honestly, I do not blame the horse at all. If that was me, I would run as fast as I could. After this, a mysterious cowboy pulls away a curtain to reveal a HORSE IN A BOX OH MY GOD FREE HIM WHAT ARE YOU DOING MYSTERIOUS COWBOY MAN GET HIM OUT OF THERE!!
Also the wacky inflatable arm flailing tubemen in town start deflating, because they know what’s up and they’re not sticking around to see it. I am not like them because I’m not a coward.
After some very artsy shots, because what else would we expect from Jordan Peele, they reveal that the mysterious cowboy is actually Glenn from “The Walking Dead.” HE’S ALIVE AND HE HAS A HORSE IN A BOX!!
There are more artsy shots with everybody looking up at the sky and a crab and all that fun normal movie trailer stuff and then we see what I think is an alien spaceship. Or maybe that’s what the government wants me to believe and it’s actually some government stuff. OOooOoOoOo spooky.
Then we see True Jackson get lifted into a tornado, and I just hope she goes over a rainbow instead of in a spaceship. She’d be much better off that way. Finally, there is a black screen with the word “NOPE” which is honestly what I said when Keke Palmer got sucked into the tornado. This movie honestly looks amazing, and I cannot wait to see it when it comes out on July 22. If you want my actual movie review, feel free to walk into the Starbucks on campus and scream “MEGAN KIDBY SUCKS!!” Trust me, it happens all the time the baristas are used to it.