ALYSSA BUMP
Editor in Chief
Which back to school thing are you based on your astrological sign?
Aries: Post-It notes for your so-called to-do lists.
Taurus: A green apple smelly pencil that loses its scent in 24 hours. You disgust me.
Gemini: A Jansport backpack to hide all of your secrets.
Cancer: Tissues. Get the kind with aloe. Thank me later.
Leo: A study buddy so you can stop bothering everyone for the homework.
Virgo: Just your big brain filled with all those big brain facts.
Libra: Glasses for you to see reality more clearly.
Scorpio: A large black coffee to soothe the bitterness in your soul.
Sagittarius: A new wardrobe. We can’t wait to see you slay the campus.
Capricorn: An emotional support animal.
Aquarius: Every textbook that was listed as “required” because you have a fear of failure.
Pisces: A dream journal. Pay attention: Your dreams are trying to tell you something.