JAY BYRON
Staff Scallywag
Hi buds. Love ya. Where’s your stress level at? I’ll tell you.
Aries: Starting off strong, my little Aries friends are always struggling. You’re struggling extra hard this week. Uh oh! What now?!
Taurus: Hmmmmmm … I can’t really figure you out. Just make sure you make yourself some yummy snacks so you aren’t snackless.
Gemini: It’s way higher than you think it is. You might wanna take a nap in your bed otherwise you’ll accidentally take a nap in Starbucks.
Cancer: It could be worse! But, it’s still pretty high. Hang in there. Pet a dog.
Leo: Stress? Couldn’t be you. Keep binging a show, even if you know you should be incredibly stressed and doing 10 assignments. It’s okay!
Virgo: Your stress level is as high as Maytum right now. Get a ladder and shove it down.
Libra: You say it’s really high but it’s just so you can get out of doing that crazy thing your one friend always asks you to do.
Scorpio: Refer to Aquarius, except yours has the added benefit that you’re cute and we should go on a date sometime.
Sagittarius: Why is there so much happening right now?!?! What is going on??? Where am I??? Sorry, wait, I’m an empath, so all your thoughts just came to me. Go to bed before 4 a.m. more often.
Capricorn: Your stress level is so high. You’re taking on a LOT of responsibility. Just stop! 🙂
Aquarius: You’re probably doing okay. Meh. I have no idea if you’re holding on or not, but you might wanna get a grip soon because otherwise stuff might turn rough. Oh well!
Pisces: You don’t realize you’re actually thriving right now because it’s just gonna get worse from here. Slay.