[SATIRE] Quiz: Which nostalgic computer game are you?

MEGAN KIDBY

Scallion Editor

I’m gonna be honest with y’all, I’ve been really sad recently. 

Sh*t just happens and you feel like you’re not slaying the haus down boots queen wig like you really want to. 

When that happens, I play Wizard 101. 

What game should you play? 

Take this quiz to find out! 

Question #1: Your mom says you can have a sleepover but you can only invite three Leader members. Who are you inviting?

1. Dan Q, Chloe, Capri
2. Megan, Abbie, Matt
3. EJ, Dan G, Sierra
4. Jace, Drew, Henry
5. Alexandra, Nicole, Elmer

Question #2: It’s recess time! What do you want to go on first?

1. The swings
2. The monkey bars
3. The slide
4. That one spider web rope thing 
5. You read by a tree instead

Question #3: You’re trading Silly Bandz with the cool kids. Which one would you trade?

1. I would NEVER trade my Silly Bandz
2. A dino
3. Halloween ghost 
4. Barbie Silly Bandz
5. SpongeBob Silly Bandz

Question #4: Which after school snack do you like the most?

1. Cheese and crackers
2. Ants on a log
3. Those Oreo 100-calorie cookies
4. Granola bar
5. Apple slices with peanut butter

Question #5: What did/would you buy at the Scholastic book fair?

1. Those hand pointer things
2. A fuzzy pen
3. The long twisty erasers
4. Smencils
5. An actual book

Question #6: It’s your birthday! What are you bringing in for the entire class? (if you have a summer birthday just pretend)

1. Cookies 
2. Ice Cream
3. Cake
4. Those cupcakes baked in ice cream cones
5. Nothing

Question #7: Oh no!!! A bully is approaching you and asking for your lunch money. How will you stop them?

1. Screaming and running from them. They can’t hit you if they can’t catch you
2. Setting up a therapy session for them. It’s clear they have unresolved traumas
3. Boring them with your 10-year business plan. 
4. Sending them $10 over Venmo and recruiting them as your bodyguard.
5. Casting a spell on them when you get home. 

IF YOU GOT…

Mostly As: You’re Poptropica!!

You’re adventurous, smart and hardworking! Your curiosity and imagination makes you the best at creating new and fun things to try. You never give up when things get tough, even if that means playing for days on end to complete a Poptropica world!

Mostly Bs: You’re Webkinz!!

You’re kindhearted, sweet and caring. When there are fights breaking out at the bars (or on the playground if you’re under 21), you are always the peacemaker that gets everyone to make up. You have a nurturing and sensitive way about you, and you light up every room you enter!

Mostly Cs: You’re Club Penguin!!

You’re independent, witty and a go-getter. You know what you want in life and know exactly how to get there. While other kids were playing on the monkey bars, you were making an empire selling Silly Bandz from your school desk. See you on the cover of Forbes in a few years, kid. 

Mostly Ds: You’re MovieStarPlanet

You’re bold, eye-catching and daring. All eyes are on you when you step into a room. When there’s an open call for a new movie or TV show you immediately jump on it and you get it! Try not to let the fame go to your head though. Remember me when you’re famous. 

Mostly Es: You’re Wizard 101

My personal favorite!! You’re mysterious, trustworthy and honest. You tell it like it is and people really respect you for that. You’re definitely that one person in class that every person wants to date because they’re so cool and mystifying. You also definitely thought you had powers in elementary school. Maybe you do and the government was just trying to suppress you. Who knows?