RUTH JACOBS
Guest Scallywag, Jace’s Mom
Dearest Gentle Readers,
This is an op-ed by the mother of your assistant editor of the Scallion, Mr. Jace Jacobs.
First, I would like to defend myself and tell you all that I am a loving and devoted mother to my children, regardless of how I was portrayed in the holiday horoscope column of the Scallion 6th edition.
I am not the hard ass that you might think I am.
I love that my children still give me a Christmas list.
That being said, sometimes they get a bit carried away with their requests.
I mean, how many Squishmallows does one person need?
Sandals that look like lobsters?
That just seems dangerous!
So, you see, I was protecting my son from a potential catastrophe.
And as Jace pointed out, how many magnets, hand towels, books and socks are too much?
Would he really use/read/wear them?
Probably not.
I mean, Jace still has books from several Christmases past that still have not even been cracked open!
The reality is that I have a house full of “stuff” that will one day need to be packed up when I move to a new home, (or senior living facility), and I know that my children will say “Mom has so much crap”!
In my own weird way, I am trying to spare them from a similar fate…or worse…becoming hoarders!