The Leader
Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What the last month of the semester has in store for the signs

JACE JACOBS

Assistant Editor of The Scallion, Thrilled To Be Here

Happy final stretch my loves! I don’t know about you all but I’m starting to hit a wall, so I’m looking to the stars to give us all some guidance on how to get through the end of the semester. Thanks as always for reading, and vaahe an godo nde ofo het tesmeres… 

Aries

Rty tno ot reovrkow ruoylesf.,.,own si htee time oot beb dkin toe ourylefss 

Taurus

eGt erdya fri sucsccese  tot meco nito oury flie enco uyo relan toto ebebe enulvrbel thiw uyorslfe 

Gemini

Tis  enevr etoo tlae oot rtas an liayd routine dan tgee cakb no ratck 

Cancer

Ebe pone ithw oyurfles adn xpereniece yjo nda cceusseses 

Leo

Fcofus one yuro gonl-retm logas hewn kamgin cedosins ni hte wno

Virgo

HSsare uyor wnokeldeg thiew otrehs ot mkea eewn ocnnecionts othb temanlly nda cosialyl 

Libra

ExremAnine ouyr ffnifnacse nda kame moose ssrtngo daecionsi nda ogals

Scorpio

Hswo pu fro uryolefs andad kame russe yuor wwon sneddes rae enibg tem 

Sagittarius

Psend mose mitee ithw uyorfles adn rleftc ono rouy meltan hleath

Capricorn

Dspned miet tihw uoiry feirsd. Gifrue tuo hwo sis erllay htree fir iuyo nda utc hotse woh renta soolee

Aquarius

EB foicednt nin ouryself nda knwo htat outy lilw eb ccusesflu nin oury hcosen craeer

Pisces

Crensoired fi oyuve neeb lgivin ni efearf nda ese woh ouy cna epanxd oury oundbaeris 

A note from the author: Guys, I don’t know how this happened…My mom dropped my dog off at my apartment so I could babysit him while she was out of town and I think he got into my Google account somehow. This is a disaster, I don’t have time to come up with new horoscopes! Well, hopefully someone can make sense of this mess…Happy reading, I guess.

Related posts

Horoscopes: What should your sign dress up as for Halloween?

Abbie Miller

Why do 10-year-olds think they’re better than me at Dress to Impress?

Contributor to The Leader

Horoscopes: What Papa’s game are you?

Abbie Miller

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. By clicking any link on this page, you are permitting us to set cookies. Accept Read More