ABBIE MILLER
Editor in Chief, 1-Star Comedian
With a new school year comes a new horoscopes writer, I am sad to say. It is my only hope that my horoscopes will do justice to the previous Assistant Scallion Editor and former horoscopes column writer, Jace Jacobs. This change is the first of many to come in a new semester, for new and returning students alike, as they acclimate to Fredonia’s somewhat underwhelming (seniors who remember the Tim Hortons in the Williams Center are more likely to share this view) atmosphere. To help you anticipate some of this semester’s changes, I have done the honor of describing what your semester will look like.
Virgo
While difficulties may arise, you should be mindful of the sun on the horizon. For Fredonia students, this sun will take the shape of Burger Wednesdays.
Aquarius
Remember that, like college itself, everything comes at a price, including overindulgence in certain college-affiliated activities.
Gemini
Your semester will be a mixed bag. You’ll be taking classes you like but with professors you don’t. Hang in there!
Leo
Your determination to improve your GPA will not be a failed pursuit.
Sagittarius
Your roommate may prove to be a handful. But with time and patience, you will come to a mutual understanding.
Taurus
Be sure to put yourself out there this semester, and opportunities will abound.
Aries
Whether it’s your first year or your fourth, new friends will flock to you.
Scorpio
Improvements are always to be desired, but staying true to yourself is what will allow success both in and out of the classroom.
Libra
You will find the perfect balance between work and play at a pace that will marvel your peers.
Cancer
Take in your surroundings and be present. College may feel like 100 years, but for the majority, it is only four.
Capricorn
Do not get ahead of yourself. Taking one firm step at a time will prevent you from feeling the burnout most college students face at the end of the Fall semester.
Pisces
Sometimes to achieve your full potential, you must enlist the help of others. Group projects this semester will result in your best work yet.