ABBIE MILLER
Editor-in-Chief, Acceptor of Any and All Gifts
It’s just about that time. As the snow blankets campus and I desperately try (and repeatedly fail) not to slip on the ice that covers the walkway to Fenton Hall, the holiday season is upon us. For some of us, that means celebrating Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or Christmas. For others, that means enjoying the cheery mood without engaging in any traditional holiday celebrations. No matter which holiday, or lack thereof, you decide to celebrate this year, everybody deserves to feel loved this holiday season. And my favorite way to show people how much I care for them is by giving them the most niche, sentimental gifts I can find. For those special people in your life, ask them their sign and follow my very own gift guide below to show them just how much they mean to you.
Gemini
Money
I know what you’re thinking: Abbie, you’re only saying that Geminis should receive money because you’re a Gemini and you’re broke. To which I would reply: Yes……… and what about it? America revolves around money, and who would I be to deny myself my very own slice of holiday cheer by encouraging those around me to give me some?
Aries
A hyper-specific musical instrument
One thing about Arieses is that, in my experience, they are incredibly difficult to shop for. Their interests span across many subjects, but the kinds of gifts that match these interests are unfortunately few and far between. My suggestion: get them some sort of niche musical instrument, like an Otamatone or a DJ set.
Taurus
You tell me
The only sign who is harder to shop for than an Aries is a Taurus. My father is a Taurus, and he literally makes it borderline impossible to know what to get him for any holiday or birthday. I know you guys are selfless, and I know you will be happy with anything you’re given, but for once PLEASE STOP BEING SO NICE.
Libra
A ring
For all my Libras that are waiting for a proposal from your significant other, you’re welcome. Rings, whether wedding or otherwise, show the recipient that you care for them to an extent that other items may not. Jewelry in general, and rings specifically, signify dedication, so show your fellow Libra the care that they deserve.
Pisces
Repurposed gifts
We can’t like all of the gifts that we are given. Maybe you were gifted the same thing twice, or maybe it’s that item that you received for your 10th birthday that you still have yet to find a purpose for. Stop feeling guilty about not using it and start feeling like a genius for taking the initiative to recycle. By giving the Pisces in your life the chance to find new meaning in your own used and cobweb-collecting gift, you embrace the spirit of the holidays — which is screwing everyone else over and benefiting yourself.
Scorpio
Not a damn thing
To all my Scorpios, I’m sorry. I don’t know if it’s your confidence or your arrogance, but I just feel like you don’t really need any presents. If you already seem like you have everything you need, what more could those around you provide that would truly enrich your life anyway?
Capricorn
Anything from TikTok Shop
As TikTok continues to overtake the social media sphere in popularity, everybody who spends more than 10 minutes on the app has gotten some sort of advertisement for TikTok Shop. An in-app knockoff of websites like Temu and Wish, TikTok Shop provides you with any (and I mean ANY) item you could possibly be looking for in exchange for the lowest prices (and quality) on the market. Let your imagination run wild and save your budget by getting the Capricorns in your life the most bizarre item you can find on TikTok Shop.
Sagittarius
A Lego set
I stand strong in my belief that nobody can go wrong with a Lego set. For Sagittariuses, this gift is especially applicable. A crafty and hardworking bunch, Sagittariuses will appreciate the beauty of a Lego set while also enjoying the time that it takes to build it.
Virgo
Target’s Featherly Friends fabric birds
Call me a middle-aged white woman all you want, but I will not back down. I love Target’s Featherly Friends fabric birds. They come in all different themes and outfits, and they are the perfect gift for moms and Virgos everywhere. For family members that you live with, this is as much of a gift for you as it is for them.
Aquarius
American Eagle’s Snoopy pajamas
The Snoopy obsession that invaded everyone’s brain space and social media feed within the past year may have calmed down, but for me and Aquarians alike, it is not a phase. Aquarians, like myself, understand Snoopy in all his complexity while also appreciating him for his simplicity. Give the double gift of warmth and cuteness by getting your favorite Aquarius Snoopy pajamas this holiday season.
Cancer
A gift card
There is truly no way to go wrong here. I know that some people say that gift cards are a sub-par gift, but I will take a stance right here, right now: I like them. They are just customizable enough to let your recipient know that you pay attention to their interests but general enough to apply as a gift to just about anyone.
Leo
All of the Bath & Body Works items you can hold
Fill up those arms with Bath & Body Works (not sponsored) products for your fellow Leos. Maybe you know what your gift recipient’s signature scent is. Maybe you want to give them a subtle hint that no amount of perfume can cover up a lack of showering. Or maybe you want to get a buy three, get three free deal for yourself so that you get a gift out of it too. Whatever the case is, I would be hard-pressed to find a Leo who wouldn’t be excited about this gift.