The Leader
Scallion

[SATIRE] National Guard seen drinking in Delta Chi’s basement amidst rumors of FredFest collab

MORGAN BROWN

Asst. Business Manager

After rumors of Fredonia’s mayor calling in the National Guard to prevent more violence at this year’s upcoming FredFest, some students are in disbelief at their recent behavior.

Following an advertised “Bunker” event, multiple sources claimed to have seen uniformed soldiers mingling with Fredonia’s very own Delta Chi fraternity. 

“I just went to get a beer and saw an officer with his arm around a brother,” revealed one confused party-goer. 

A group of pledges even confessed to bonding with said guards, admitting that “we were encouraged by [the fraternity] to get to know each other… There are some top secret ‘big plans’ approaching.”

Another witness has come forward about the possibility of the National Guard’s participation in a keg stand that evening. Unfortunately, the legitimacy of this claim has not been finalized. 

While no official statement has been released on whether or not there will be an official governmental collaboration for FredFest, some are speculating that it may be the best weekend yet. 

When polled by The Leader staff, local police officials were ecstatic at the opportunity to “chum it with the ol’ nationals,” as they said. 

Police even received reports of uniformed soldiers breaking local open container laws on the streets surrounding the party, but refusing to ticket in the name of the “Bro Code.”

A source close to the mayor has additionally overheard conversations surrounding a new red, white and blue theme to FredFest.

Students have begun to be advised via anonymous YikYak posts to “invest in patriotic clothing,” much to the enjoyment of current students who are just happy to see FredFest continue.

What is being planned behind the scenes for the upcoming event, and does it have anything to do with these sightings?

Anyone with more information surrounding this collaboration has been advised to contact The Leader directly in hopes of surfacing the truth about this year’s FredFest.

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