MEGAN KIDBY
Scallion Editor
Graphic by SAFFRON LARREA | Art Director
My girlfriend is a gamer.
I have known Olivia for close to three years and there is one thing that has always been consistent.
When I sleep over at her house (mom, dad, I’m sorry) we usually end the night with her playing a game before we fall asleep.
It’s one of those things I cherish, but sometimes she’ll play something and I’ll have no clue what is happening.
I’m not 100% lost on video games. I’ve been playing “Date Everything” on the Switch, so I know a good game when I see one, but the games she plays have more serious plots than trying to have sex with a d20.
I realized after watching the YouTube channel “Girlfriend Reviews” that other people feel the same way.
Hopefully, if you feel this way too, this article can help you.
Also, if you have advice for other games, please bestow your knowledge upon me so I can understand.
Liv’s been talking about “Ghost of Tsushima,” and I need to know if I’m losing her to the game.
Lies of P
IN “LIES OF P,” YOU PLAY AS P!
Ahem…now that I’ve gotten that out of the way.
“Lies of P” is an action soulslike game inspired by Pinocchio.
Do I know what soulslike means? I mean…kind of?
I think it has something to do with Dark Souls? Liv talks about them a lot.
They are third-person games that are difficult as hell.
I’m still watching Liv play this one, so I don’t have a full grasp on how the game plays out, but I’ll do what I can.
There’s a lot of fighting in this game, and honestly, if you tune out for the fighting and pay attention to the sick cut scenes and the lore, you’ll do pretty well.
There’s also a cat you can find in the main hub of the game, so make sure you force your partner to look every time they enter.
The boss fights have like two or three stages sometimes and your partner will die multiple times, so Instagram is your best friend.
Make sure your partner recalibrates their P-Organ.
God of War: Ragnarok
…Boy…
That’s all you need to know.
NieR: Automata
“NieR: Automata” tells the story of androids 2B, 9S and A2 as they fight to take back a world overrun by powerful machines.
Players jump between different kinds of attacks while battling tons of enemies and tough bosses across wide, open areas.
This is one of the most beautiful games I’ve ever seen my girlfriend play.
I first saw her play “NieR” three years ago, and I haven’t gotten it out of my head since.
During the period of time we weren’t together, I saw it in my local library and almost rented it so I could be closer to her. (I’m a D1 yearner, what can I say?)
This is another game where you might need to go on your phone, but I’ve used my phone less while watching this game.
There’s a character named Emil, who I thought was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. He is absolutely scary to look at, but he’s so adorable.
I don’t know, I like weird characters.
The Machines are the bad guys, but you’re going to feel bad when you see them die.
They look so innocent and so cute, it’s hard to see them get killed; however, they are mean and they will kill your partner if they don’t kill them first.
Make them feel bad for doing it though, I do that all the time.
Peggle
“Peggle” is a puzzle game where the goal is to hit all orange pegs to win the level, while avoiding running out of your 10 starting balls.
Hitting green pegs activates special abilities for your chosen character, and hitting purple pegs gives you bonus points.
I watched Liv play Peggle so much, it’s insane. I don’t get bored of watching this one though, because each level is new and exciting.
You’re not running around for 20 minutes trying to find the next level; it’s right there, and you know what you must do. There are strategies to use and different characters to choose from.
I also love the classical music aspect of it. When you boot up the game, you’re greeted with “Peer Gynt: Morning Mood” and when you win, you get “Ode to Joy.”
That piece makes any win feel like the greatest achievement you will accomplish in your lifetime.
Slay the Spire
“Slay the Spire” is a roguelike deck-building game where you play as one of four characters: the Ironclad, the Silent, the Defect or the Watcher.
You try to climb a tower made up of randomly generated floors, fighting all kinds of enemies and bosses along the way.
I can only describe this one as Wizard101, but it is more challenging.
I can’t give you much on this one because the only time I tried to focus on her playing it was when she was in the hospital, and I was more focused on the fact that she was going into surgery instead of the game mechanics.
I guess the fact that I don’t pay attention speaks for itself. You’ll be bored but pay attention to the cards so you can help out sometimes.
Spelunky
“Spelunky” is a platformer where each time you die, you restart in a new randomly generated set of levels.
You don’t get to keep the stuff you find on the journey, either.
Liv said, “It’s the closest thing we have to a rogue like at this point.”
Once again…don’t really know what that means. Just let your partner explain it to you and watch their eyes sparkle while they explain it to someone they love.
Doom: Dark Ages
“Doom: Dark Ages” is a first-person shooter game where you’re put in the role of the DOOM Slayer during a brutal medieval war against the forces of Hell.
Guys, this one legit made me motion sick the first time I watched my girlfriend play it.
The plot is super sick, and I like the gore aspect, but I couldn’t make it past the jerky movements in the fighting parts.
If you’re sensitive to movement, maybe take a nap for this one or get the Dramamine ready.
Hopefully, these help you understand a little bit of what’s going on when you watch your partner’s screen.
If you have any other questions or want to know my opinion on other games, feel free to leave them in the comments below.
Thanks for watching and remember to subscribe, now I’m going to watch my girlfriend genuinely rage when P falls down another rickety bridge.