[SATIRE] QUIZ: Will you be getting a lot of Halloween candy this year?

Reading Time: 3 minutes

MEGAN KIDBY 

Scallion Editor 

October is one of my favorite times of the year. The air is colder, the trees turn pretty fall colors and candy is half off at like every pharmacy come November. Will you need to get that half-off candy, or will you have the perfect costume for trick-or-treating? Take this quiz to find out! 

Question #1: What’s your Halloween costume vibe this year? 

1. Hand-crafted masterpiece. People will stop you for photos 

2. Classic but solid like a witch, vampire or zombie 

3. Quick DIY with whatever you could find from home 

4. Minimal effort. Cat ears, fake blood, done 

5. No costume… party pooper 

Question #2: How early do you start planning for Halloween? 

1. August — spooky season starts early 

2. Early October — still plenty of time 

3. The week before 

4. The night before 

5. …Wait, that’s today? 

Question #3: What’s your trick-or-treating strategy? 

1. Full route mapped out 

2. Follow the crowd to the houses with the good stuff 

3. Just walk around and see what happens 

4. Hope someone hands you a Kit Kat at a party 

5. You don’t even try, and just sit home watching horror movies while eating leftovers 

Question #4: What kind of bag are you bringing? 

1. Pillowcase 

2. A sturdy pumpkin bucket 

3. Grocery bag 

4. Small purse or tote 

5. No bag, no plans 

Question #5: You approach a house with a bowl, a “Take One” sign and no people around. What do you do? 

1. You take one… handful  

2. Take one politely (but maybe sneak a second) 

3. Actually only take one. You’re respectful 

4. Hesitate, then grab two and run 

5. Skip it altogether. Too much pressure 

Question #6: What’s the weather looking like for Halloween night? 

1. Clear skies, perfect for trick-or-treating 

2. A bit chilly, but it’s not too bad 

3. Drizzling. Could be worse tho! 

4. It’s pouring, but I came prepared 

5. It doesn’t matter. I’m not going outside 

Question #7: What kind of neighborhood are you hitting up? 

1. The fancy one that gives out full-size bars 

2. Your own! It never steered you wrong 

3. A mix of random streets nearby 

4. The one with the houses with cool animatronics on their front lawns 

5. None. The couch is your haunt 

Question #8: What candy are you hoping for most? 

1. Full-size chocolate bars 

2. Sour gummies or fruity treats 

3. Fun-sized chocolates 

4. Anything edible 

5. On sale 

Question #9: How strong is your Halloween spirit this year? 

1. YOU LIVE FOR HALLOWEEN 

2. Pretty high. You love the vibes 

3. Mid-level. You like it, but you’re not obsessed with it 

4. Low. You’ll participate a little 

5. None 

Question #10: What happens to the candy after you trick-or-treat? 

1. You ration like a pro, so it lasts all month 

2. You share it (a little) 

3. It’s gone in two days 

4. It sits in a bowl until December 

5. What candy? 

IF YOU GOT… 

Mostly A’s — CANDY OVERLOADDDDDD!!!! 
You’re the ruler of Halloween night! People respect your dedication, and your candy bucket will be bursting. Hope you’ve got strong arms to carry it all home. 

Mostly B’s — SWEET SUCCESS 

You’ll score a solid stash this year. Not legendary, but enviable. You know how to balance fun and strategy 

Mostly C’s — A DECENT HAUL 
You’ll have a decent amount of candy and a good time, but a few missed opportunities might cost you some chocolate. 

Mostly D’s — SPOOKY SHORTAGE 
You’ll get some candy, but not much. Next year, a little more energy (and a better bag) might change your fate. 

Mostly E’s — NO TREATS FOR YOU  
You’ve officially ghosted Halloween. Whether by choice or circumstance, you won’t see much candy. But hey, those Nov. 1 discounts are calling your name. I’ll see you in the CVS line.