March 6, 2026
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5th Quarter Column: McDermott fired after latest playoff heartbreak

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Printing points introduced for students, staff

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The Leader

Hillary Clinton

Scallion

Every great America needs great guns All the guns are belonging to Trump

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutes  JESSICA D’NONSENS Trumpoonist   HOUSTON — We have a problem in America: All of our guns are being taken. Where are they going? If future C.E.O. of America Donald Trump plays his cards right — which he will — they’ll all be going to him. A recent viral video......
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Scallion

Lennon’s luscious locks yield musical magic powers Hair sold online — totally worth it

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutes  PATRICK BENNETT Special to the Lampoon   The Beatles were known for their beautiful melodies, dope harmonization and culturally diverse instrumentation. What many people fail to realize is that it was all due to member John Lennon’s luscious locks. Recently, strands of John Lennon’s real life hair were sold......
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Scallion

To meme or not to meme? Bernie Sanders’ meme page reaches more follows than his campaign

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutes  JESSICA D’NONSENS Lampoonist   Bernie Sanders is every millennial’s wet dream. He promises free tuition, limited warfare, higher wages and now, he offers the dankest of memes. “Bernie Sanders’ Dank Meme Stash” (BSDMS), a Facebook group created to get the Internet involved in the democratic socialist’s campaign, has recently......
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Opinion

Iowa Caucus: Coin flips, voter turnout and a failure of systems

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 4 minutes  Six different Iowa Caucus voting locations utilized an outdated technique to determine which Democratic candidate won each district. The final vote for Democrats was almost a dead tie, with 49.8 percent for former Sen. Hillary Clinton and 49.6 percent for Sen. Bernie Sanders according to https//www.idpcaucuses.com. To make a......
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Life & Arts

In a trance with BSU BSU hosts ‘America’s Got Talent’ hypnotist

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 3 minutes  MARIA MELCHIORRE Staff Writer   On Feb. 1 numerous curious students gathered in the Fenton 105 lecture hall, not really knowing what to expect, apart from a typical fun Black Student Union (BSU) event. Hypnotist Chris Jones, of “America’s Got Talent” fame, took the stage and played music while......
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Scallion

To be ‘fresh and funky’ like Sanders, Clinton starts new hashtag

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesJESSICA D’NONSENS Lampoonist   “Come to my New Hampshire Rally tonight. Bring your Tamagotchis and scooters, kids. It’s going to be cray cray. #rubtheclint” was the tweet sent out from the official “Ready for Hillary” Twitter page. Since then, the Internet has stopped. People knew that Hillary Clinton was in......
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News

‘House of Clinton’ How the cards might fall for Hillary

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 3 minutesCONNOR HOFFMAN Staff Writer   Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has been one of the biggest names in politics for a while, but her national spotlight may be coming to an end this election season. I believe that we are seeing the fall of the “House of Clinton,” and......
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Scallion

O’Malley accepts defeat, still wants into the White House Presidential candidate aims to be someone’s VP

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutes  THE FEVER Assistant Lampoonist   When someone mentions Martin O’Malley, the common response is “Who?” Currently in the running for President, the former governor of Maryland has been lost in the ever-growing shadows of Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders since the beginning. With a consistent 2 percent approval rating......
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News

Conservative corner: Illegal immigration and the 2016 election

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 3 minutes  CONNOR HOFFMAN Staff Writer   One of the biggest issues in the 2016 election so far has been illegal immigration. Much of the coverage of this issue on the Republican side has been focused on Trump’s plan to build a wall between the United States and Mexico and forcibly......
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