MARISSA BURR
Special to The Leader
It’s been a rough start to the year. It’s been a rough couple of weeks. It’s really been a rough few days. I won’t get into it — I’m not ready — but I’ve had to cut a bunch of songs out of my daily listening recently.
One playlist that always helps me feel every emotion I need in order to move forward is my “best friend” playlist. It isn’t only happy vibes because I have gone through my fair share of best friends and I’m not on speaking terms with a lot of them. Each of these songs reminds me of someone who, at one point or another, I considered my ride-or-die. While we may not all be close anymore, there is a special place in my heart for each of them. So hug your best friend close and give this playlist a listen.
“Ex Best Friend” by Caroline Kole
We’re starting with a gut punch. I discovered this song right after one of my best friends at the time ghosted me and then revealed on my birthday how much she hated the person I was. It came out of the blue and I had thought everything was fine.
The line “I thought we were better than this” hurts the worst because I thought being in college was supposed to make everyone more mature. I even tried to rekindle the friendship months later and she gave me nothing but apathetic pity responses. When Kole says, “do you talk about me when you’re feeling petty?”, it makes my heart ache because even after three years, I still want to know what she’s up to and how she’s doing.
I’ve tried to never bash her because even though I didn’t understand why she left, I hate that she thought I made her do so. I really hope that she can still think fondly of our memories because I do.
“thanK you aIMee” by Taylor Swift
I know Taylor Swift and Kim Kardashian weren’t friends, but if you listen to this song and imagine they used to be, it makes the lyrics hit even harder.
It makes me think of my first college roommate who I thought would be my best friend forever. We came into college each liking a guy, and when mine ended up being a douche (I should’ve known since he went by his initials ‘cause he thought it was cooler to have the punctuation in there), my friend and I became a three-person group with her guy. Well, she fell in love and went nuts when he didn’t, and thought that I slept with him when we were just studying — news flash: I didn’t. We didn’t do anything sexual until we started bonding over her craziness and after she had already stabbed me in the back. I’m not that kind of friend.
Well, she made our school her entire personality and hated that I came in and wrote for the newspaper she thought she “owned.” Swift says, “I wrote a thousand songs that you find uncool. I built a legacy that you can’t undo,” and that’s exactly what I did. I became an editor in record time and became a beloved part of the staff (she quit when I became editor). I overcame everything she threw at me and went out and won awards while she cheered at pep rallies. And like the song says, “I don’t think you’ve changed much,” and maybe she never will. Relationships aren’t sustainable if both people aren’t growing, and I’m happy I outgrew her. Like I said, I don’t wish any ill will upon her, but I have the chance so I’ll go for it: “fuck you aimee.”
“Oath” by Cher Lloyd feat. Becky G
This one goes out to “my best friend, best friend ‘till the very end.” Ironically she lived across the hall from me and the aforementioned roommate. I’ve accidentally flashed her, spent hundreds of dollars in one store with her, and learned how to make over-easy eggs because of her. She’s made me watch “Home Alone” and “Bojack Horseman” and has almost never tried to kill me by adding allergens to her cooking. Brenda, “Wherever you go just always remember you’re never alone. We’re birds of a feather.” There’s no one in this world I’d rather struggle and thrive through life with. You’re the Phoebe to my Monica and we’re better off without Rachel. I love you endlessly.
“Everybody’s Fool” by Evanescence
This song reminds me of my longest running friendship (other than with Brenda). In high school, I had a friend whom I loved and we had many thirds in our group, but she ended up betraying me for the last addition. I’m talking about the fact they threw my tennis bag in the gym showers and soaked it and all my stuff — typical 2000s movie petty girl shit. These girls were constantly being revered for their grades, their athletics and their personalities. This song is about girls being fake so everyone loves them, but those closest know how twisted they are. Their parents legitimately hated it when people didn’t “bow down and stare in wonder.” The pain their bullying inflicted upon me ruined what should’ve been “the good years.” They made me out to be the bad guy and kept being besties, but that’s fine. They can have each other. As the song says, it’s easy to have “no flaws when you’re pretending.” If you still want to know how I feel about the situation, pay close attention to the second half of the bridge.
“Flying Solo” by Madison Reyes and the “Julie and The Phantoms” Cast
Sorry not sorry, this one is for Brenda too. First of all, she’s watched “Julie and The Phantoms” with me I don’t know how many times, let alone listened to the soundtrack. This album is about the only thing I played in the car for over a year, and I’m the one with the license — she’s a true friend. From the opening line, we knew we were Flynn and Julie; “If I leave you on a bad note, leave you on a sad note, guess that means I’m buying lunch that day.” I’ve never had to fly solo without my best friend because even though we keep moving away from each other, she’s always been there for me. I know a million things about her and maybe couldn’t write her a song, but I could definitely pen her biography. The best kind of friendships appear in a slightly cheesy but overly heartfelt Netflix series. We’re still waiting for Kenny Ortega to discover us. Everyone will wish they had a friendship like ours.