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[SATIRE] Fredonia professor has hilarious bit

BRIAN CECALA

Staff Scallywag 

This article is written for comedic purposes. 

A SUNY Fredonia professor is making news across the country for the hilarious bit he’s been doing for years! I’ve been taking a philosophy class with this jokester, and when I heard him blurt out this cheeky joke, the entire class burst out laughing. He had been writing satirical papers and books using wack philosophical reasoning  to justify “adult-child sex relationships.” Ain’t that just the wackiest thing? I felt like I was living in a real South Park episode. What a zany clown character he was pretending to be. He would say something like…

“It’s not obvious to me that [pedophilia is] in fact wrong. I think this is a mistake. And I think exploring that why it’s a mistake will tell us not only things about adult-child sex and statutory rape, but also about fundamental principles of morality.”

– Currently Employed Professor Stephen Kershnar

What a satire of disgusting rhetoric that people could use if they fundamentally ignored every single study about the mental, physical and emotional abuse of having relationships with someone who can’t engage in informed consent! I was laughing so hard I couldn’t hear anyone else laughing. Now, this revolutionary use of comedy and education is being posted about in major news articles by the likes of The New York Post and Fox News. It’s so great to see that some teachers still have a sense of humor.

Note for the editors if this article is too “edgy” for the scallion allow me to suggest a different article:

People who could HYPOTHETICALLY Beat Stephen Kershnar in a Fight

DEFINITELY NOT BRIAN CECALA

Staff Scallywag 

  1. Adored Scallion Writer Brian Cecala.
  2. Refer to number one.

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