The Leader
Scallion

[SATIRE] What’s that, Fredonia?

What’s your problem? Like, seriously! What’s wrong with you? 

MATTHEW BAUM

Scallion Editor

This year at SUNY Fredonia, there’s something different about the atmosphere on campus. Namely, everyone seems super stressed and put-down between classes. I, Matthew Baum, took to the streets, eager to seek out just what the major malfunction is. 

Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay.

“I just feel like the world is falling apart around me. My parents ridicule me left and right for wanting to live my life, the environment is rapidly approaching unsustainable levels of toxicity for life on Earth, and the politicians that I entrusted with my best interests are constantly debating about whether or not my existence is socially acceptable.” 

 – Madi Shelley, sophomore criminal justice major. 

“I don’t know anyone here, and it’s my first time away from home for any meaningful length of time. I spent the last few years sticking pretty close to home because my family is immunocompromised, so when I see the COVID cases in this county start to go up, I get really worried.”

Xander Rotosk, first-year English education major

“It smells like dog food here. That’s so wack.”

 – Brian Cecala, senior acting major, former Staff Scallywag

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