The Leader

Campus Humor

Scallion

“What’s YOUR favorite part about Willy C’s?”

Contributor to The Leader
ALEXANDRA WALSH Guest Scallywag Christopher Robin, freshman who still gets lost on campus major “The pasta station … wait, that’s Cranston.” Bradley Preston Harrington III, sophomore sports management major with a minor in frat-ology “Uhhhh … I don’t know. The tables are great for beer die, I guess. Die up,......
Scallion

Free-spirited Fredonia architect is at it again: ‘Excelsior Cafe’ is coming to Rockefeller

Contributor to The Leader
MATTHEW BAUM Guest Scallywag Ahmelia Schitt is something of a rockstar in the college-campus design circles, and she’s back in town. In an exclusive interview on Thursday, she announced that she would be designing a new eatery on-campus, with a literal twist. For those who have gone all this time......
Scallion

What’s that, Fredonia? What do YOU think of our incumbent president, Dr. Hefner?

Contributor to The Leader
JOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor Wanda Plongo, sophomore political science major “Who?” Goulash Jambalaya, senior criminal justice major “I think it’s pretty interesting that the rotting corpse of Hugh Hefner is now the president of Fredonia. What a small world we live in.” Greej Dunkle, freshman anti-mathematics major “If I knew......
Scallion

“Guess I’m not sick anymore” says student vomiting outside closed LoGrasso Student Health Center

Contributor to The Leader
DOM MAGISTRO Assistant Scallion Editor LoGrasso Health Center, Fredonia – Sunday afternoon, James “Barfy” Bartholemew was spotted banging on the door outside LoGrasso clutching at his stomach as a custodian within shook their head, refusing to allow Barfy access to the building. “Please, I’m very sick. I need help,” begged......
Scallion

Heartwarming: When this student was feeling shy and didn’t want to socialize, this heroic RA forced them to do icebreakers

Contributor to The Leader
JOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor Get out your tissues, this one’s a tear jerker! Julia Freedman, a shy freshman just starting at Fredonia, wasn’t really in the mood to socialize and just wanted to get the hall meeting over with. But the heroic RA of Nixon Hall, Patricia Stronghold, decided she......
Scallion

Janitors of Fenton Hall unable to get prior President Virginia Horvath’s door open, reportedly hearing loud screeches from inside

Contributor to The Leader
JOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor   According to recent reports from janitors working within Fenton Hall, they are unable to open the door to the previous president’s office. The door is not locked, but appears to boarded or blocked shut. Firefighters are planned to break in later today.  Mr. John Clean,......

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