Campus Humor

[Satire] With nothing else for people to do, these bizarre internet challenges are making a comeback

Contributor to The LeaderApril 15, 2020April 15, 2020

April 15, 2020April 15, 2020

MATTHEW BAUM Staff Scallywag The internet is an interesting and terrifying place. People who you’ve never met look right at you, say, “what’s up, guys!” and immediately start making bad decisions. It’s the future every concerned mom from the ‘80s was worried about their kids getting involved with. There are......

Scallion

[Satire] Wait, where is everyone?

Contributor to The LeaderApril 13, 2020April 7, 2020

April 13, 2020April 7, 2020

HANNAH BLIDY Confused Staff Scallywag Okay, so it’s been like three weeks since spring break, and I don’t think I’ve seen a single person on campus. Seriously — not one. I really just don’t know what’s going on. I’ve been going to my classes, but no one ever shows up!......

Scallion

Horoscopes 4/11/2020

Contributor to The LeaderApril 11, 2020April 7, 2020

April 11, 2020April 7, 2020

ALEXANDRA WALSH Guest Scallywag Aquarius: COVID-19? More like Hoevid-19, Aquarius. I see you on Tinder. Pisces: Wash your hands please, thank you. Aries: Social-distance yourself from Geminis… They are never good to quarantine with. Taurus: I know you miss the cutie you used to see every MWF in your class,......

Scallion

[Satire] Class attendance is at an all-time low this semester

Contributor to The LeaderApril 8, 2020April 9, 2020

April 8, 2020April 9, 2020

MATTHEW BAUM Staff Scallywag For some reason, there has been a serious drop in attendance in classes. Nowadays, it seems like nobody’s going to their classes anymore, myself included. I am guilty of missing class just as much as the next guy, but here’s my reasoning. I, for one, have......

Scallion

[Satire] I know everyone’s panicking about this whole coronavirus thing, but has anyone seen my pants?

Contributor to The LeaderApril 1, 2020April 1, 2020

April 1, 2020April 1, 2020

JOSEPH MARCINIAKBumbling Editor of the Scallion Hey everyone, I know we’re all panicked about this coronavirus thing, but I could really use some help with my pants situation. I placed them down somewhere and now I can’t find them! They’re a pair of Levi’s blue jeans, really nice, size 36-32.......

Scallion

I’m not like other girls, I do things that other girls do

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 23, 2020March 22, 2020

March 23, 2020March 22, 2020

HANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag (Disclaimer: you don’t have to have a period/menstrual cycle to be a girl. Whether you identify as a woman all the time or some of the time, this article is for you. Perhaps you’re just interested in reading it. Whatever floats your boat.) Omg, don’t you......

Scallion

Fredonia to introduce alternative transportation for inclement weather

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 22, 2020March 22, 2020

March 22, 2020March 22, 2020

MATTHEW BAUM Staff Scallywag The students at Fredonia have been put through the weather wringer, with wind, waves and whiteout wreaking havoc on the commute from one end of campus to the other. To combat this stress, Jess Tuitt, the head of the university Department of Transportation, has set in......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Governor Cuomo confirms fears on Twitter, says to panic

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 12, 2020March 12, 2020

March 12, 2020March 12, 2020

JOSEPH MARCINIAKTrembling and Panicking Editor of the Scallion [RELATED: How the Coronavirus is affecting campus] Well, that’s it folks. Cuomo tweeted on Wednesday morning, “Ah, fuck it. School’s out. #coronavirus”. After careful consideration of this tweet, SUNY has taken this as a cancellation of all classes and a forced evacuation......

Scallion

A review of Fredonia School of Music’s tenth annual choral festival

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 7, 2020March 7, 2020

March 7, 2020March 7, 2020

MATTHEW BAUM Staff Scallywag There was an undeniable electricity in the air at Fredonia a few weeks ago. This year is the tenth anniversary of the university-wide choral festival, and for such a vital milestone, the faculty decided to go all-out. Members of the various singing ensembles on-campus including College......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Coronavirus sweeps through Fredonia’s bars

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 6, 2020March 5, 2020

March 6, 2020March 5, 2020

COREY DALE-MILLER Guest Scallywag As I am sure that many of you have heard, there is a major epidemic that has been spreading its filthy agenda around the globe. I am disheartened to report that this disaster of epic proportions has made its way to our quiet and peaceful village......

From the Desk of Chloe Kowalyk: Editor in Chief

From the Desk of EJ Jacobs: Life & Arts Editor

From the Desk of Jace Jacobs: Asst. Scallion Editor

From the Desk of Nicole Thorson: Art Director

From the Desk of Henry Domst: Design Editor

From the Desk of Sierra Mills: Chief Copy Editor

[SATIRE] An interview with The Bachelor’s winner, Henry Domst

[OPINION] What COVID-19 inadvertently taught us

ITS unveils stratigic plan for technology

Dr. Kathryn Kendall takes on enrollment

[Satire] With nothing else for people to do, these bizarre internet challenges are making a comeback

[Satire] Wait, where is everyone?

Horoscopes 4/11/2020

[Satire] Class attendance is at an all-time low this semester

[Satire] I know everyone’s panicking about this whole coronavirus thing, but has anyone seen my pants?

I’m not like other girls, I do things that other girls do

Fredonia to introduce alternative transportation for inclement weather

[SATIRE] Governor Cuomo confirms fears on Twitter, says to panic

A review of Fredonia School of Music’s tenth annual choral festival

[SATIRE] Coronavirus sweeps through Fredonia’s bars