Donald Trump

From the Desk Of Curtis Henry, Sports Editor

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 22, 2017August 16, 2019

March 22, 2017August 16, 2019

Curtis Henry Sports Editor Allow me to preface this in a way that you can actually take it seriously. This isn’t going to be some fluffy Odyssey article written by a freshman girl who is totally obsessed with her roommate’s dog or the fact that the Starbucks guy wrote......

News

Democracy 101 talk debates bathroom bills

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 22, 2017August 16, 2019

March 22, 2017August 16, 2019

CAMRY DEAN Staff Writer Sometimes, the best way to get a point across is to make use of the words of someone else. James Baldwin, a black American writer and social critic once said, “We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my......

Scallion

Surreal Baldwin portrayal replaces surreal president at WHCD

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 8, 2017September 1, 2019

March 8, 2017September 1, 2019

EMMA PATTERSON Staff Lampoonist He’s back, folks! Alec Baldwin, the actor most notably known for his surreal portrayal of Donald Trump on “Saturday Night Live” (among other roles, but let’s be real, this is his best), is slated to replace Trump at the head of the White House Correspondents’......

Scallion

NASA sells flights to new Trump-free planets

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 8, 2017September 9, 2019

March 8, 2017September 9, 2019

JACLYN SPIEZIA Staff Lampoonist President Donald Trump’s inauguration was a little over a month ago, and since then, the horror story that has recently been our government has rightfully been coined, “too much power for too tiny of hands.” In fact, Trump’s interest in nuclear war has given many......

Scallion

Guest Op-Ed: Who wants to be America’s second?

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 22, 2017August 25, 2019

February 22, 2017August 25, 2019

PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP WWE Hall of Famer In Donald Trump’s inauguration speech, he said, “From this day forward, it’s going to be only America first. America first.” POTUS has followed up on his thoughts with an exclusive op-ed penned for the Lampoon. Who was your founding father? Our......

Scallion

Fake news filter removes Conway from internet

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 15, 2017August 25, 2019

February 15, 2017August 25, 2019

EMMA PATTERSON Staff Lampoonist Facebook’s new “fake news filters” caused a moderate amount of outrage among Donald Trump supporters last week when they accidentally filtered out, to the relief of pretty much everyone, Kellyanne Conway interviews. Incensed Facebook users took to Facebook to rant about boycotting Facebook. “I joined Facepage......

News

Immigration executive order sends shockwaves through SUNY

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 8, 2017August 16, 2019

February 8, 2017August 16, 2019

[metaslider id=8235] CAMRY DEAN Staff Writer On Dec. 7, 2015, then-presidential candidate Donald Trump called for the U.S. to bar all Muslims from entering the country. “Donald J. Trump is calling for a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States until our country’s representatives can......

Scallion

Miss Universe opens pageant up to extra-terrestrial competitors

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 8, 2017

February 8, 2017

JACLYN SPIEZIA Staff Lampoonist In what appears to be an effort to be more inclusive, the Miss Universe pageant will now accept competitors from other star systems. Don’t be alarmed, though. A Donald Trump-owned organization was not trying to be inclusive. The decision was made by......

Scallion

Exclusive: Trump’s upcoming executive orders for next week; President flexes a little too hardcore?

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 8, 2017September 9, 2019

February 8, 2017September 9, 2019

PATRICK BENNETT Staff Lampoonist A drunk uncle flipped the beer pong table at his niece’s graduation party this past summer. He was flexing his testosterone and booze-fueled strength by exerting maximum force on the table. Now, President Donald Trump is flexing maximum force on the people......

Scallion

Mexico unveils plans for border staircase

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 8, 2017August 25, 2019

February 8, 2017August 25, 2019

EMMA PATTERSON Staff Lampoonist In a shocking turn of events last week, President Donald Trump claimed that he would actually start to move forward with what the general public thought was just a really dumb, horrifying joke: the construction of the U.S.-Mexico border wall. Obviously, this announcement has......

Theater kids are taking over Fredonia

Rating every 2025 Oscar award-winning movie

President Trump signs orders dismantling eight departments

[SATIRE] Fear and Loathing in Talladega: A Journey to Beer-Soaked…

[SCALLION/NEWS] Campus bus leaves students traumatized

[SATIRE/NEWS] Police Notters

Executive Vice President and Provost Dr. David Starrett abruptly leaves…

[SATIRE] Abigail Jacobson, news editor, cancels news

[SCALLION/SPORTS] Volz enlisted to help suffering Sabres

[SCALLION/NEWS] All hail the new era: The Scallion has taken…

From the Desk Of Curtis Henry, Sports Editor

Democracy 101 talk debates bathroom bills

Surreal Baldwin portrayal replaces surreal president at WHCD

NASA sells flights to new Trump-free planets

Guest Op-Ed: Who wants to be America’s second?

Fake news filter removes Conway from internet

Immigration executive order sends shockwaves through SUNY

Miss Universe opens pageant up to extra-terrestrial competitors

Exclusive: Trump’s upcoming executive orders for next week; President flexes a little too hardcore?

Mexico unveils plans for border staircase