Satire

[SATIRE] Things at Fredonia that would probably kill Prince Philip

Contributor to The LeaderApril 8, 2021April 9, 2021

April 8, 2021April 9, 2021

BRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag [EDITOR’S NOTE: This article was written a week before and published a day before Prince Philip died. The timing was not intentional, and The Leader staff expresses its best wishes to the royal family.] Prince Philip looks like he’s just barely hanging in there. Google him,......

Scallion

Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderApril 4, 2021April 4, 2021

April 4, 2021April 4, 2021

MATTHEW BAUM God of the Ocean (I still don’t know the order, and at this point I’m too afraid to ask, so here we go) VIRGO: You’ve got a lot of tension in your neck and shoulders. Take a minute to stretch your muscles a little. TAURUS: I’d like you......

Scallion

Horoscopes, special edition: Scallywag Brian Cecala’s old Facebook photos

Contributor to The LeaderApril 3, 2021March 30, 2021

April 3, 2021March 30, 2021

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Aries Taurus Gemini Cancer Leo Virgo Libra Scorpio Sagittarius Capricorn Aquarius Pisces...

Scallion

Fredonia announces new football team

Contributor to The LeaderApril 2, 2021April 2, 2021

April 2, 2021April 2, 2021

RYAN DUNNINGWeb Editor You asked for it, and now it’s finally here: Fredonia is getting a football team! Because it was announced in the Fredonia Campus Report email from last week, it is likely that nobody heard about this development, but no need to worry, we have you covered. We......

Scallion

[SATIRE] The Great Lake Avengers are coming to the MCU

Contributor to The LeaderApril 2, 2021April 2, 2021

April 2, 2021April 2, 2021

NIKKI INDELICATO Special to the Leader BREAKING NEWS: Recent rumors surrounding the greatest group of Avengers of all time have been confirmed by Marvel President Kevin Feige: the Great Lake Avengers will finally be making their debut in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The story follows Mr. Immortal (played by Djimon......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Why learning a second language is probably not a good idea

Contributor to The LeaderApril 2, 2021April 2, 2021

April 2, 2021April 2, 2021

CHLOE KOWALYK Staff Writer It would be awful to learn a second language. Take it from a gal who knows. Research suggests that learning another language helps improve memory. Why would I want to do that? To make room for more memories like my last prom date rejection? No thank......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Dumpster on campus mistaken for conceptual art piece

Contributor to The LeaderApril 1, 2021April 1, 2021

April 1, 2021April 1, 2021

ALYSSA BUMPLife & Arts Editor The dumpster behind Gregory Hall (yes… that dumpster) has drawn in a flock of art critics to campus. This latest piece was thought to be one of the most innovative sculptures on campus yet. I know what you’re thinking, how could anything be more innovative......

Scallion

BRIAN CECALA IS THE NEW CHIEF OF FREDONIA U.P. AND HE HAS NEW RULES

Contributor to The LeaderApril 1, 2021March 30, 2021

April 1, 2021March 30, 2021

BRIAN CECALA KING OF FREDONIA WHAT’S UP ASSH*LES. FOR APRIL FOOLS POLICE NOTTERS, THE CHIEF OF POLICE SAID I COULD BE THE POLICE CHIEF AND HE WOULD WRITE A FUNNY ARTICLE. HOWEVER, I PULLED AN APRIL PRANK. I HAVE STATED SOME NEW RULES FOR ALL FREDONIA STUDENTS. NEW RULE 1......

Scallion

Music Review: “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 31, 2021March 31, 2021

March 31, 2021March 31, 2021

HANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag We all know it. Some of us hate it. It gives us a flashback to the early days of internet memes. No, it’s not the Nyan Cat song. It is the one and only, “Never Gonna Give You Up.” According to KnowYourMeme.com, Rickrolling is a classic......

Scallion

Rating NBA players based on their hairlines

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 30, 2021March 30, 2021

March 30, 2021March 30, 2021

GRIFFIN DOMBROSKE Special to The Leader I suppose I should preface this with the fact that I am in no way well-versed in any Hockey team and their players. That being said, I have decided to rate their performance in the NBA based solely off of how broke their hairline......

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[SATIRE] Things at Fredonia that would probably kill Prince Philip

Horoscopes

Horoscopes, special edition: Scallywag Brian Cecala’s old Facebook photos

Fredonia announces new football team

[SATIRE] The Great Lake Avengers are coming to the MCU

[SATIRE] Why learning a second language is probably not a good idea

[SATIRE] Dumpster on campus mistaken for conceptual art piece

BRIAN CECALA IS THE NEW CHIEF OF FREDONIA U.P. AND HE HAS NEW RULES

Music Review: “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley

Rating NBA players based on their hairlines