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Fredonia NY
December 16, 2024
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5th Quarter Column: College Football; Sport or Business?

Lovercolumn: Navigating Breakups

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Early season struggles or same old Sabres?

New Prime series “The Edge of Sleep” will keep viewers…

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The Leader

Satire

Scallion

[SATIRE] Highlighting the Feminist Men of Media: Andrew Tate and Elon Musk

Contributor to The Leader
MEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor In honor of this special issue, I wanted to highlight some quotes from the most amazing men … Elon Musk and Andrew Tate.  These beautiful men have really paved the way for strong and powerful females like me.  Once, I was just a self-conscious girl and......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Moments of womanhood aligned with the signs

Contributor to The Leader
JACE JACOBSAssistant Editor of The Scallion  ABIGAIL MILLER  Managing Editor  Hello Fredonians and a very happy Woman Issue to all who celebrate (guys please don’t hate me for calling it that, it’s literally what our Editor in Chief called it)!  For some context, I am a transgender man, so although......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] The grave of the Pedro Pastall

Abigail Jacobson
ABIGAIL JACOBSON  Asst. News Editor  ATTENTION! I SAID ATTENTION! According to multiple sources across campus, the Pedro Pascal shrine, AKA the Pedro Pastall, has been reportedly taken down. By whom, you may ask? BY PEDRO PASCAL’S HATERS! Those scoundrels.  How dare they take down the shrine I go and pray......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] SUNY Unveils Bold New Strategy to Prepare Students for the Real World

Contributor to The Leader
MEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor In a stunning move that has left students scratching their heads and faculty members questioning their life choices, SUNY has announced a revolutionary plan to overhaul its educational system.  Brace yourselves, folks, because SUNY is cutting all programs, effectively transforming itself into a “Program-Free Zone.” In......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] My apologies … (not clickbait)

Contributor to The Leader
MEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor *sigh* I’ve made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgment. On November 23, I made a horrible mistake.  At around 2:30 p.m. EST, my grandfather entrusted me with the most sacred part of a white person’s Thanksgiving: the macaroni and cheese.  Unlike Colleen Ballinger, I......
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