Satire

[SATIRE] Hillary Clinton inspires wave of theatrical inspiration

Contributor to The LeaderMay 9, 2022May 8, 2022

May 9, 2022May 8, 2022

BRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag Fans of the iconic feminist and political leader Hillary Rodham Clinton may be surprised that she can add a new title… Theater super-star! After conceding the 2016 election, there were rumors floating around that she had been taking acting classes in her free time. Well, not......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Not a single SUNY Fredonia a cappella group will let me into their group and here’s why

Contributor to The LeaderApril 19, 2022April 18, 2022

April 19, 2022April 18, 2022

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Okay, I’ll admit it. Acafest was really cool. Like, okay, sure, everyone did a good job. G Train? Can’t go wrong. However, I have some complaints. ‘Cause, like, not cool, guys. I auditioned for every single one of your little singy groups, and not a single one......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Some thoughts on the Ukraine crisis, from a very sympathetic acting major

Contributor to The LeaderApril 15, 2022April 13, 2022

April 15, 2022April 13, 2022

MATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor and The Future of Musical Theatre Let’s also start strong, be aware I’m satirizing. It’s satire, I promise. For further information on the invasion being carried out by Russia in Ukraine, look somewhere that’s not The Scallion. The events and attacks taking place in Ukraine are......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Disappearance of the ‘FRED’ sign and other stuff that probably doesn’t matter as much

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 31, 2022March 30, 2022

March 31, 2022March 30, 2022

MATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor Over spring break, while hordes of college students spent way too much money and acted recklessly in public, the FRED sign on campus was taken away, as well as some other things. We’ll cover the other things, but my main priority is the signage to our......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Predicting how your week is gonna go

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 30, 2022March 29, 2022

March 30, 2022March 29, 2022

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Welcome back to your favorite article series ever. I’m here to do a classic: predict how your week is gonna go. Aries: It’s your time to shine, Aries, and you know it! The winds are beckoning you. You’re gonna spend some well-deserved time outside, probably near the......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Highlights of the Olympics, by someone who for sure watched the Olympics

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 11, 2022March 9, 2022

March 11, 2022March 9, 2022

MATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor Since the Olympics ended last week a few weeks ago, there has been loads of information to dissect and break down. Luckily, I am someone who for sure, absolutely paid attention to the sports events that went down. Some guy smashed his balls on one of......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Top 6 things you can do to help Ukraine

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 11, 2022March 9, 2022

March 11, 2022March 9, 2022

BRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag You’re looking on the news and you’re watching TikTok when you see the horrific footage of war and death taking place in Ukraine. You feel helpless and despondent. The more you look around the more the world reminds you that we are little people with no......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Spring break edition

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 9, 2022March 9, 2022

March 9, 2022March 9, 2022

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Hello, my friends! I’m bringing to you some advice to each sign about what to do over spring break — if you have no plans, of course. Aries: Set fires in Mason while no one’s there. (DON’T DO THIS. THIS IS SATIRE.) Taurus: Go home and learn......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Red flags

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 4, 2022March 4, 2022

March 4, 2022March 4, 2022

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Hey, Horoscope fiends. I got what everyone’s been looking forward to this week: THE RED FLAGS OF EACH SIGN! Aries: You don’t clean your emotional support water bottle as often as you should. However, you think that the crusty dusty elements of an unclean emotional support water......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Students advocate for global warming in response to unreasonable winter weather

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 26, 2022February 27, 2022

February 26, 2022February 27, 2022

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag (This article is written for comedic purposes. For factual information on global warming, visit Fredonia’s Climate Education Initiative website: fredonia.edu/about/offices/climate-education-initiative/climate-facts.) Going to Fredonia, you were probably already aware that the weather was gonna be quite the treat. We all knew that snow was a big thing to......

Theater kids are taking over Fredonia

Rating every 2025 Oscar award-winning movie

President Trump signs orders dismantling eight departments

[SATIRE] Fear and Loathing in Talladega: A Journey to Beer-Soaked…

[SCALLION/NEWS] Campus bus leaves students traumatized

[SATIRE/NEWS] Police Notters

Executive Vice President and Provost Dr. David Starrett abruptly leaves…

[SATIRE] Abigail Jacobson, news editor, cancels news

[SCALLION/SPORTS] Volz enlisted to help suffering Sabres

[SCALLION/NEWS] All hail the new era: The Scallion has taken…

[SATIRE] Hillary Clinton inspires wave of theatrical inspiration

[SATIRE] Not a single SUNY Fredonia a cappella group will let me into their group and here’s why

[SATIRE] Some thoughts on the Ukraine crisis, from a very sympathetic acting major

[SATIRE] Disappearance of the ‘FRED’ sign and other stuff that probably doesn’t matter as much

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Predicting how your week is gonna go

[SATIRE] Highlights of the Olympics, by someone who for sure watched the Olympics

[SATIRE] Top 6 things you can do to help Ukraine

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Spring break edition

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Red flags

[SATIRE] Students advocate for global warming in response to unreasonable winter weather