October 22, 2026
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LOVERCOLUMN: Legendary Lovers

World leaders address war, conflicts at UN General Assembly

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From Fredonia to New Mexico?  

A playlist for each mood: Yearning  

‘Tis the season to be spooky!

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The Leader

Satire

Scallion

[SATIRE] “Same grass, different day” — Local deer speaks out against on-campus food options

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor In the last several weeks, it has been made clear to the staff at SUNY Fredonia that the local herd of deer have had enough of the status quo.  A great number of deer have been seen wandering the grassy stretches of Fredonia’s campus with more......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Fredonia announces university-wide activities to boost morale

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMEGAN KIDBY Guest Scallywag  In order to boost morale and entice admissions applicants, President Stephen Kolison of SUNY Fredonia has just announced some school-wide activities that have been planned for the school year!  In an email sent to the student body last week, Kolison declared that “the vibe on campus......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes 11/9

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: < 1 minuteJAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Hello friends, here’s the first thing on your playlist for November! Aries: “Bang Bang” by Jessie J, Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj Taurus: “Michael in the Bathroom” by Be More Chill Gemini: “Buddy Holly” by Weezer Cancer: “Anti-Hero” by Taylor Swift Leo: “Axel F” by Crazy Frog Virgo:......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] “We were just kidding,” says billions of missing snow crabs

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor As it turns out, crabs have a tremendous sense of humor.  Last week, reports had shown that there was a shortage of over two billion Alaskan snow crabs when compared to expected numbers based on population projections. Be it a sign of overfishing, a devastating loss......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Chris Pine announces MasterClass on managing the most obnoxious people you know

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor Chris Pine, the celebrated actor featured in the newest Olivia Wilde film “Don’t Worry Darling” has just announced that he is teaming up with MasterClass to teach subscribers how to avoid wasting one’s time with the most miserable people on the planet.  Pop culture experts believe......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes 9/30

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: < 1 minuteJAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Hi buds. Love ya. Where’s your stress level at? I’ll tell you. Aries: Starting off strong, my little Aries friends are always struggling. You’re struggling extra hard this week. Uh oh! What now?! Taurus: Hmmmmmm … I can’t really figure you out. Just make sure you make......
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