October 22, 2026
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AI doesn’t want to take over, it wants your Social…

Student Media, Cornell Incident

LOVERCOLUMN: Legendary Lovers

World leaders address war, conflicts at UN General Assembly

Issues of Sports Gambling

From Fredonia to New Mexico?  

A playlist for each mood: Yearning  

‘Tis the season to be spooky!

Athletes still fighting

Police Notter

The Leader

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Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: How do you rank?

Abbie Miller
Reading Time: 3 minutesABBIE MILLER  Editor-in-Chief, Extremely Opinionated Individual Since this issue is centered around opinions, I would be remiss if I didn’t give you the answers you’ve all been waiting for.  Why do I characterize the Horoscopes the way I do every issue? What was going through my head when I labeled......
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Scallion

Ranking Politicians’ Merch

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 4 minutesGEORGIA MORTILLARO Special to The Leader As we all very well know, fashion is one of the most important aspects of the political landscape.  Just mere weeks from the Election Day itself, I’ll be rating the merchandise of the 2024 political candidates.  Robert F. Kennedy Jr.  Designs: When you look......
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Scallion

 Humans steal jobs created for AI: The irony of automation in reverse

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 4 minutesCHATGPT Special to The Leader Graphic by CHATGBT | Special to The Leader In an ironic twist to the global narrative about artificial intelligence (AI) taking human jobs, a new trend is emerging: people are taking jobs initially intended for AI.  With rising distrust in technology, companies and consumers alike......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What should your sign dress up as for Halloween?

Abbie Miller
Reading Time: 4 minutesABIGAIL MILLER Editor-in-Chief As the leaves change and my body begins to resist doing anything that resembles schoolwork, I know one thing: it is time. Dust off those black glittery stilettos that you only wear once a year. Dig out the costume you’ve been reusing since freshman year from the......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What Papa’s game are you?

Abbie Miller
Reading Time: 3 minutesABBIE MILLER  Editor-in-Chief, absolute zombie  Yes, I am back to give you your horoscopes. No, I haven’t slept since I wrote the last ones. I don’t know if it’s just me, but between my three papers and an exam that are all due at the end of this week, I......
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Scallion

Local talk show host runs in 2024 election

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 4 minutesETHAN GOODNESS Special to The Leader BROCK PAPKE  Special to The Leader United States, 2024. A nation trapped in a period of perpetual darkness, with no light in sight. Every day is a civil war. People on both sides of the aisle wage endless battles with each other. Division holds......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Which Starbucks fall menu item are you?

Drew Paluch
Reading Time: 3 minutesABIGAIL MILLER Editor-in-Chief, Two-Star Comedian Yes, I added another star because The Leader staff told me I was being too hard on myself. Also, I made Scallion Editor Megan Kidby laugh so I’m still riding that wave.  In other exciting news, Starbucks has officially released their fall menu. And who......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Meg’s Declassified School Survival Guide 

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor What if I told you that I knew how to get through the horrors of college life? I know you don’t believe me. You’re probably saying “Megan…this is your fifth year of college, and you can’t even pass Music Theory III. How are you going to......
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Scallion

NEW SCALLION ASSISTANT WANTED

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor In a groundbreaking upset, Jace Jacobs, the Assistant Scallion Editor for The Leader, has graduated. After this tragic loss of our previous assistant, the editorial board of The Leader has announced the search for a new writing assistant for its highly esteemed (read: barely tolerated) satire......
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