scallion

[02.22.23] horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 23, 2023February 23, 2023

February 23, 2023February 23, 2023

Reading Time: < 1 minuteJAY BYRONStaff Scallywag I’m back and you’re happy about it! This week, I’m telling you what article of clothing you are and why. Aries: Jeans. There’s so many different types of jeans. Some people hate you, some people love you. Either way, they’re glad to have you in their wardrobe......

Scallion

[Satire] An open letter to SUNY Fredonia

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 22, 2023February 21, 2023

February 22, 2023February 21, 2023

Reading Time: 2 minutesMEGAN KIDBY Special to The Leader Dear SUNY Fredonia, My name is Megan Kidby and for those who do not know me I am the person who owns the laundry you put on top of the dryer because I took too long to grab it. I’m sorry; I’m just really......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes 2/8

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 8, 2023February 8, 2023

February 8, 2023February 8, 2023

Reading Time: 2 minutesJAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Welcome back! How’re you settling in? Oh wait, I’ll tell you! In fact, I’ll predict how this semester will go for you. Aries: You’ve decided that your goal for the semester is to find every liminal space on campus and meditate there for an hour straight to......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Fredonia announces university-wide activities to boost morale

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 10, 2022November 9, 2022

November 10, 2022November 9, 2022

Reading Time: 2 minutesMEGAN KIDBY Guest Scallywag In order to boost morale and entice admissions applicants, President Stephen Kolison of SUNY Fredonia has just announced some school-wide activities that have been planned for the school year! In an email sent to the student body last week, Kolison declared that “the vibe on campus......

Scallion

[SATIRE] “We were just kidding,” says billions of missing snow crabs

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 5, 2022November 5, 2022

November 5, 2022November 5, 2022

Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor As it turns out, crabs have a tremendous sense of humor. Last week, reports had shown that there was a shortage of over two billion Alaskan snow crabs when compared to expected numbers based on population projections. Be it a sign of overfishing, a devastating loss......

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[02.22.23] horoscopes

[Satire] An open letter to SUNY Fredonia

[SATIRE] Horoscopes 2/8

[SATIRE] Fredonia announces university-wide activities to boost morale

[SATIRE] “We were just kidding,” says billions of missing snow crabs