“THE PLUMBER”
Executive Producer of Lovercall
“THE ELECTRICIAN”
Lovercall Producer
Last week’s episode of Lovercall featured lessons from a very special returning guest.
Erica Rose, a certified intimacy coach who works primarily with women and couples to increase sexual confidence and experience. Erica uses her experiences to guide others. She said that part of her job is to “embrace those desires and those passions.”
She also works closely with her clients to “build confidence from the inside to outside” as she has done herself.
Erica and the usual hosts and producers as well as some guests discussed several aspects of love, sex and relationships on the show.
On the show, Erica used “Erica Rose” as a codename to preserve her privacy.
Date idea of the week
We also hope to provide our fellow students with a fun and unique date idea in every column. This week, we here at Lovercall decided to collaborate with Erica for the date idea.
Erica suggests having a weekend getaway with your partner. A trip to an Airbnb or hotel can serve as a good change of environment for both of you.
Visiting a place both of you are unfamiliar with but excited to explore offers a great way to collaborate with your partners. Trip planning can be a fun activity in itself, as you decide where to go.
This trip doesn’t necessarily need to be in a different state either. The idea is simply to enjoy your company with your partner.
As Erica said, “Just connect together that’s outside the space you’re traditional to.”
If you need some inspiration, look towards nature! State Parks such as Letchworth and National Parks such as Acadia offer stunning vistas to explore, quaint towns to roam and plenty of hospitality options.
Sexual inhibition and sexual excitation
For this episode of Lovercall, Erica taught us something new about sexual health.
Sexual inhibition, or a person’s “breaks” refers to a lower sexual interest and the things that might be a turn-off for you or your partner. Sexual excitation, or a person’s “accelerator” on the other hand, refers to a higher sexual interest, and the things that are a turn-on for you or your partner.
Erica provided us with two quizzes, both of which were created by Emily Nagowski: one for sexual inhibition, and one for sexual excitation. The first quiz we took told us our level of sexual inhibition.
People who got a lower score for sexual inhibition tend to have higher sex drives. Higher scorers are more reserved regarding arousal and sexual interest. Those who score in the middle have a blend of the two.
On the contrary, people who got a higher score on the sexual excitation quiz are more likely to be aroused and have a high sexual interest. Those with a low sexual excitation score are less driven by sex and aren’t easily aroused. And, those in the middle once again experience a blend of both.
Take these quizzes to see where you fall! Erica explains that being aware of where you fall with your own sexual inhibition and excitation can help you express your needs to your partner, as well as being educated about yourself.
Professional intimacy coach Erica Rose answers our Lovercallers’ questions
Erica worked with us to answer both questions from our listeners and the questions we had ourselves live on air.
One of the questions asked was, “How can my partner and I spice things up in the bedroom?”
Erica said to remember that bedroom spiciness depends on where you and your partner are at. For instance, if you and your partner are more “vanilla” or traditional when having sex, it wouldn’t hurt to stay within that realm.
One way to explore more ideas for the bedroom is to play “red light green light,” which Erica brought to play on the show last semester.
Each partner checks “yes” or “no” next to a list of different positions and ideas for the bedroom. Then, you and your partner go over the list together to learn about each other’s interests. The pdf of the list is available on Erica’s Instagram (@xo.ericarose).
Erica also suggested playing a sexy card game, dirty talking, sexting and changing up your location and positions each time you have sex.
One caller asked about good brands of condoms and other intimacy products to use. Erica suggests using good brands that do not contain harmful substances. She notes that you should always be mindful of what you are putting into your body.
Another person wrote to us, asking “I feel like I am falling out of love but I don’t know how to tell him. We haven’t had sex in months, and I am wondering how we revitalize our sex life to match our emotional connection/intimacy.”
Our host “Bunny” recommended taking a look at your train of thought before continuing. If you are feeling like you’ve fallen out of love already, chasing that love you felt before might be trying to convince yourself it can still work because of the amount of time sunk in the relationship.
Take a step back and reevaluate, and consider if it might be time to end the relationship for your own well-being. Chasing an emotion that’s long passed will almost always bring turmoil, so don’t subject yourself to a chase.
A bit of final advice Erica gave us was to remember that the transition between sexual experiences from college to adulthood is “not as scary as you think.”
She explained that the real world is full of different thoughts and ideas and that people should “stay genuine to whoever [they] are.”
Erica left us with the idea that we shouldn’t be afraid to try new things, and that we will attract the people who are supposed to be close to us.
Reach out!
You can find Erica Rose on Instagram @xo.ericarose and TikTok @xoericarose. She will be returning to social media on June 1.
Do you want to ask the authors of Lovercolumn a question? Do you need advice? Fill out the form by using this QR code.
Interested in being a guest on Lovercall? Email frs@fredonia.edu or visit Fredonia Radio Systems, located in McEwen Hall 115 and open Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.
“The Plumber” and “The Electrician” are members of Fredonia Radio Systems and are involved in the production of Lovercall.
Lovercall logo recreation by Alex Erwin
Image of/provided by Erica Rose