JACE JACOBS
Assistant Editor of The Scallion
In my time writing for The Leader, I chose to be vocal about my personal experiences as a transgender man, specifically concerning the campus of SUNY Fredonia and the United States as a whole. As I reflect on the pieces I’ve written, there’s a lack of positivity. In response to my piece centered around the death of non-binary teen Nex Benedict, a reader sent me an email asking me to write a piece focusing on trans joy and successes.
As I look to the future while gearing up for graduation, I want to celebrate how far I’ve come in my transition, as well as being able to celebrate the transitions of others. Although the fight for trans rights is far from over, I’m more than glad to take a moment to uplift the successes of my community. I asked trans friends for their biggest moments of trans joy, along with asking the same of individuals on the anonymous social media app YikYak. Below is a list of the top 10 most celebrated moments of trans joy:
10. Seeing other trans people represented positively in the media
As it can be gathered from my intro to this piece, trans joy and positivity are rarely reflected in the media these days, but when they are, trans folks are typically ecstatic and eager to share the news around as widely as they can! Seeing trans celebrities like Elliot Page, Jinx Monsoon and Kim Petras living their best lives is often enough to boost trans morale and make trans people feel more joyful!
9. Choosing a new name that fits your “new” identity
When beginning one’s transition, finding a new name can be the jumping-off point. Finding a new name can be a long process, and trans/gender-nonconforming folks can cycle through several potential options before landing on one that feels right. No matter how many names one tries on or how long the process takes, there’s one out there that will fit, and the patience shown by loved ones and friends often makes the process smoother and can ultimately help the individual make a choice. It is always such a relief to feel like oneself in any capacity, and beginning with a name can often help one to restructure their public persona.
8. Living in a safe state
In the current political climate of the United States, not all states are safe for transgender individuals to exist in, let alone seek affirming care in. Certain states have begun declaring themselves as sanctuaries in anticipation of the upcoming presidential election. This item is ranked so low on the list because those living in these sanctuary states have expressed both guilt and glee at living in these states. They can see the struggle many of their fellow trans people are going through, and despite their safety being guaranteed, they can’t help but feel for those not in safe spaces. But those in unsafe states have expressed joy at just hearing about these sanctuary states, knowing that there is somewhere to go in the chance something bad happens.
7. When gender-affirming undergarments actually work
As stated by a fellow trans man, nothing beats the feeling of having a flat chest that actually looks flat! Although the most common transmasculine undergarment is a chest binder, some people choose to use trans tape, which is medical-grade tape used to pull breast tissue to appear to be flat. It can be incredibly finicky, and getting it to work is always a reason to celebrate! Some trans-feminine people have expressed similar experiences with a similar tape-like product made to assist with tucking, along with difficulties using tucking underwear. Tucking can be difficult to endure but, similar to trans tape, when it works it’s a great reason to celebrate!
6. Having trans friends
Similar to being in a T4T relationship (discussed later on in this list), having transgender friends is such a joy! No one understands the pitfalls and positives of being trans quite like other trans people and being surrounded by a group of trans folks provides both a greater network of empathy and compassion, but can also create a sense of safety.
5. Receiving gender-affirming clothing items
In the beginning stages, individuals socially transition to the gender they want to be perceived as. Gender-affirming clothing items can be something visible, like a trans woman’s first dress, or something with results that are only seen externally, like a trans man’s first binder. These items, along with many on this list, can be life-changing, and are often the first gender-affirming experiences had by trans people. Never underestimate the positive effect of clothing on how gender is perceived!
4. Getting the go-ahead for medical procedures
For many transgender people, pursuing hormone replacement therapy (HRT) or surgeries marks major milestones in transitioning. When it comes to gender-affirming care, trans people are often made to jump through several hoops before they can begin doing anything. This depends on the state the individual lives in, their insurance and more recently the laws surrounding trans healthcare in the area. Most medically-based aspects of transition cost exorbitant amounts of money and can result in trans individuals starting GoFundMe campaigns to help fund their transition, which is most often seen with surgeries. Getting the go-ahead from doctors to begin planning on these procedures is often like a breath of fresh air, or a feeling of re-birth. Transgender healthcare saves lives. Transgender healthcare changes lives for the better.
3. Passing as cisgender/being perceived as you want to be
Although passing as cisgender isn’t the ultimate goal of all transgender people, it is an important element of transition for those who identify within the gender binary. From those that I’ve spoken to who are pursuing medical transition, passing is especially exciting pre-HRT or surgeries. For non-binary/gender-nonconforming individuals, some find joy in confusing others and presenting so androgynously that people are unable to tell exactly what gender they are. Some find joy in presenting in ways that result in them getting referred to as the opposite gender than what they were assigned at birth. The joy found in passing/being accurately perceived in public is up to the individual’s identity and their personal transition goals, but it is generally agreed upon that passing in some form or another is a great source of pride for many trans people.
2. Being in a “trans for trans” relationship
In the transgender community, it’s often seen that trans people prefer to date other trans people. This occurs for many reasons. Most obviously, the rate of transphobia is reduced. In addition to a partner who is essentially guaranteed not to be a transphobe, you also have a partner who understands your struggles on a more intimate level. It also provides advantages sexually, where some of the awkwardness surrounding explaining how your body and needs differ from cisgender individuals is diminished. Although this is a good jumping-off point for discussing the intimate nature of “T4T” relationships, no words can come close to describing the beauty of being in that kind of relationship, and I sincerely hope all trans individuals can experience this kind of love at least once in their lives.
1. Waking up and recognizing yourself in the mirror
Another largely indescribable experience comes in the form of experiencing gender euphoria. Living in a body that doesn’t feel like yours for years on end can be, in a word, painful. Transgender individuals can pursue transition in many different ways, through either hormone replacement therapy and surgeries, or just in the way that they dress or style their hair. Reaching a point where you like your reflection, take pride in it and feel like yourself is a wonderful phenomenon as a transgender person. Experiencing gender euphoria as a transgender person is such a beautiful thing!