IZZIE NOELLE
Horror-Scope Writer
It’s finally fall, y’all. The temperature is dropping, and it’s officially sweater weather. As the autumn breeze blows, I know a lot of people looove to watch horror movies. Me? I don’t watch horror movies. This is exactly why I’m perfectly qualified to tell you which slasher I think you’d be besties with based on your horoscope! I have no knowledge of any of these slashers, but I called in the big guns: My older sister who loves horror movies!
Aries
Pinhead from the “Hellraiser” series
I think that you would rule Cenobites hand in hand with your bestie, Pinhead! Pinhead can be pretty brutal, and Aries, you can be pretty hot headed. Together, you can raise hell (haha, get it? Please laugh.)
Taurus
Pearl from the “X” trilogy
You two would be such a dynamic duo. Pearl is more out there, wanting to be a star, and Taurus, you’re right there to keep her grounded and remind her of what’s truly attainable. Because every delusional friend needs a realistic bestie.
Gemini
Chucky from the “Child’s Play” series
Now, we all know how hot-headed Chucky can be. And we all know that every hothead can get into some pretty messy situations. That’s why a quick-thinking best friend who can talk their way out of any situation is a perfect match for this fiery slasher.
Cancer
Leatherface from “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” series
We all know Leatherface by his iconic and, let’s say, fashion-forward mask. Cancer matches that energy with their sense of fashion. Two people with a love for self-expression, you’ll be besties in no time! Likely with different mediums of expression, though.
Leo
Ghostface from the “Scream” series
Ghostface loves a good phone call, and Leos love to talk! This is why you’d be perfect for each other. Ghostface will call you late at night, and might even already be outside your house, ready to hang out of course.
Virgo
Elaine from “The Love Witch”
Elaine is just a hopeless romantic at heart, and Virgos can be too. You both just have different methods. While Elaine can get a bit…delusional and violent, you’re there to remind her of the practical side of love. Not every imperfect match deserves to die.
Libra
Freddy Krueger from “A Nightmare on Elm Street”
Freddy might be a little self-conscious about his looks, but Libra is there to remind him that it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Remind Freddy that dreams can be all magic and rainbows instead of haunting and killing.
Scorpio
Tiffany Valentine from the “Child’s Play” series
Tiffany has some pretty complicated relationships, and so do you, Scorpio. I’m sure the two of you can bond over how hard love can be. You both just want good relationships, and for that love to be returned to you. You’ll be doing face masks and gossiping about the latest failure in no time.
Sagittarius
Jigsaw from the “Saw” movies
Jigsaw loves to make complicated and sometimes life-threatening puzzles. Sagittarius, you love a good challenge. Between the two of you, your creativity and curiosity, you’ll be thinking up puzzles that could end up in “Saw XI.”
Capricorn
Michael Myers from the “Halloween” series
Now I know he’s not a man of many words, but I’m sure you two can have fun together! Go on long, weirdly slow, but rhythmic walks together, and I’m sure Michael would be a great listener. Plus, you can never see the judgment on his face behind that mask!
Aquarius
Art the Clown from the “Terrifier” series
Neither of you are big on talking, but that’s ok! I’m sure you can play some killer games of charades. Or maybe, take up ASL together. Just don’t let Art sneak up and…terrify you. (Haha, get it?)
Pisces
Jason Voorhees from the “Friday the 13th” series
Jason loves a good summer camp, and Pisces, you love some time outdoors. I’m sure the two of you would have tons of fun, swimming in the lake, climbing trees and camping out under the stars.