THE FEVER
Assistant Lampoonist
He could have had it all. Unfortunately for him, Donald has been trumped in the Iowa caucus — not by Ted Cruz or Marco Rubio, but by pop sensation Adele.
At Trump’s rallies, he would use “Skyfall” and “Rolling in the Deep” to fire him up to deliver his so-called speeches. After she found out that her music was being used in such an insulting way, she made the request that he stop playing her music.
“Adele has not given permission for her music to be used for any political campaigning,” a spokesperson for Adele told CNN.
To no one’s surprise, Mr. Trump refused her request and continued to use her music for his campaign. In response, Adele decided to give him a taste of his own medicine and joined the presidential race for the Grand Old Party (GOP).
“Her music is open to the public; therefore, I can use it if I want. She can’t touch me,” Trump began in an interview with FAUX News. “Even with her joining the race, she can’t beat me. Just look at the polls — they’re incredible.”
However, to Trump’s dismay, Adele’s sudden entry to the GOP race cost him the first and second spot in the Iowa caucus, losing out to Adele and Ted Cruz by ten delegates.
Trump supporters were shocked to see such a recent entry to the race gain so much support. Democratic supporters, on the other hand, were happy to see Trump eat his words in Iowa.
“Let me be really clear when I say this: I’m very glad that Ms. Adele joined the campaign,” Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders began. “While she may have joined the Republican party, she still shows great values and amazing vocals.”
In an exclusive with the Lampoon, Adele gave us her point of view on Trump’s demise in Iowa.
“Trump thought he could just walk all over me. I guess you could say I ‘Trumped’ him in return,” Adele began. “But puns aside, Donald never stood a chance against me. I really just did that to teach him not to mess with me.”
After the defeat in Iowa, Trump promised to stop using her music and to “find someone like you.”