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Domestic violence awareness event presents warnings and solutions

 

JAMES LILLIN
Staff Writer

 

On April 7 in the MPR of the Williams Center the Fredonia Student Athlete Advisory Committee (SAAC) came together with the Office of Diversity, Equity and Inclusion; as well as the Counseling Center to present an event centered around promoting awareness of domestic violence, and offering ways to help combat the current rates of violence.

Several introductions were made before the first speaker, Chief Diversity Officer Bill Boerner, outlined the groups that helped contribute to organizing the event, as well as presenting their goal in organizing it.
“This is an opportunity for us to gather during Sexual Awareness Month to not only raise awareness, but also share our campus resources with students,” said Boerner.

The President of SAAC, Ben Chatley, also spoke about his group’s focus while looking for speakers.
“Our mission put forth this year was to bring domestic violence awareness to the forefront of our mind across all ten SUNY schools,” said Chatley.
The first speaker was Kaila McClelland, who delivered a talk about her roommate at Brockport titled “The Story of Alexandra Kogut.”

Kogut was murdered in her dorm room by her boyfriend, Clayton Whittemore, in September of 2012, when she was beaten to death by his fists and a curling iron.
McClelland began her presentation by playing audio footage of a call that Whittemore’s father made to police after receiving the confession of his son, and eventually calls to police by Whittemore himself, repeatedly inquiring, “If you want the death penalty, can you ask for it?”

McClelland explained that on the night of the murder she was asked by Kogut if she could stay at a friends’ place for the night, which she was happy to do. When she woke up the next morning, she went to check her phone only to find dozens of text messages and more than seventy missed calls. The first call she returned was to one of her neighbors in the dorm.
“One of the statements I’ll never forget hearing was, ‘Oh my god, Kaila, you’re alive,’” said McClelland.

Those who found Kogut’s disfigured body weren’t sure if it was her’s or Kaila’s. McClelland was questioned by the police, not as a suspect but as a potential witness, and eventually was hounded by the media, which drove her to take some time off from school. When she returned, she entered into a relationship with a man named Brett.
“He abused me three times,” said McClelland. “The first time he bruised three of my ribs from kicking me. I called my family and my father said ‘Well, if you don’t leave him, I’m killing him’, and I said ‘Alright, I guess I’m leaving him.’”
McClelland eventually had a meeting with some higher-ups from Brockport Residence Life, University Police and the Head Coordinator of Campus Conduct.
“I said, ‘What are you gonna do to keep me safe, because whatever happened between Alex and Clayton is not going to happen to me, and if I’m going to stay at Brockport my parents are going to need to know I’m safe,’” said Clayton, “but they said, ‘We don’t believe that Brett could do that, are you sure you aren’t just hallucinating?’’’

McClelland recounted her recovery process, battling through survivor’s guilt and PTSD, assuring the audience that healing was possible before introducing the next speaker, Kogut’s aunt, Jenifer Bowman.
Bowman detailed her own experience as a victim of child abuse, and eventually as a victim of spousal abuse.
“The saddest part about [being a victim] is you learn that abuse. I didn’t think I was worthy of a relationship where I wasn’t hit, or where we didn’t argue,” said Bowman.
Bowman offered a litany of statistics about domestic assault, touching on many different stories about both male and female victims. She also encouraged using social media to provide support for friends and victims.
“Use social media for positive things, not negative things. Don’t bash Trump anymore, we’re done with bashing Trump. Move on to other things,” said Bowman.
Bowman also remained hopeful that millennials would be instrumental in fighting against the rise in violence.
“You guys are young, you need to bring stories to light, talk to a counselor, talk to a friend, make the issue known,” said Bowman. “You are the generation that is going to help change domestic violence, dating violence, and sexual assault.”
The event ended with a presentation on Fredonia’s “Green Dot” program by Boerner and Substance Abuse and Violence Prevention program coordinator Julie Bezek, listing the warning signs of an abusive relationship, as well as laying out a method to deal with situations that could lead to sexual violence, relying on bystanders to intervene if they see abuse occurring.

The presentations were well-received, with several groups of students sticking around after the event to talk more about the issues and to brainstorm possible solutions.
This event demonstrated how three groups can work together to help foster one impactful event with lasting impacts on our community,” said Boerner.

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