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January 15, 2025
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5th Quarter Column: Fifth Time’s a Charm?

Buffalo Bandits look to snatch third straight title

Why do gamers play games they hate?

Campus Life and Student Affairs unveil policy regulating on-campus assemblies

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What to get each sign

Holding space for the new Wicked movie: A review

[SATIRE] I hate Kia Souls

Why Dunkin’ Donuts is better than Tim Hortons, from the…

Apple Music vs. Spotify, coming from a person who has…

Abbie’s Thanksgiving food tier list

The Leader
Scallion

Abbie’s Thanksgiving food tier list

Abbie Miller
ABBIE MILLER  Editor-in-Chief, Thanksgiving Food Connoisseur S-Tier Items Mac and cheese: Look at that picture and tell me your mouth didn’t just start watering. That’s right — you can’t. This may be a hot take, but I firmly believe that mac and cheese belongs on everyone’s Thanksgiving Day platter. It......
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Scallion

Ranking Politicians’ Merch

Contributor to The Leader
GEORGIA MORTILLARO Special to The Leader As we all very well know, fashion is one of the most important aspects of the political landscape.  Just mere weeks from the Election Day itself, I’ll be rating the merchandise of the 2024 political candidates.  Robert F. Kennedy Jr.  Designs: When you look......
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Scallion

 Humans steal jobs created for AI: The irony of automation in reverse

Contributor to The Leader
CHATGPT Special to The Leader Graphic by CHATGBT | Special to The Leader In an ironic twist to the global narrative about artificial intelligence (AI) taking human jobs, a new trend is emerging: people are taking jobs initially intended for AI.  With rising distrust in technology, companies and consumers alike......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes and it’s the same but I’m an alum so it’s different 

Contributor to The Leader
JACE JACOBS Former Assistant Editor of The Scallion, “Adult” with a “Job” who “Has To Go To Work”  What’s up Fredonians? I bet you thought you had seen the last of me, with my incredibly well-crafted, tear-stained Letter from the Desk Of and my gorgeous final horoscopes.  WELL GUESS WHAT! ......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What should your sign dress up as for Halloween?

Abbie Miller
ABIGAIL MILLER Editor-in-Chief As the leaves change and my body begins to resist doing anything that resembles schoolwork, I know one thing: it is time. Dust off those black glittery stilettos that you only wear once a year. Dig out the costume you’ve been reusing since freshman year from the......
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Scallion

Why do 10-year-olds think they’re better than me at Dress to Impress?

Contributor to The Leader
ABIGAIL JACOBSON News Editor (AKA Researcher of Dress to Impress) Graphic by Isabella Rizzo | Art Director Guys. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I hate children. Shocking, I know. The only children I love are my nieces, nephews and the child I babysit for.  Every other child, hell......
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