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March 29, 2025
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“A Sitdown With Brock” season premiere gets leaked

5th Quarter Column: Why Has it Become Harder to Watch…

Roommates release song on Valentine’s Day in support of domestic…

Nine minors to be removed from Fredonia curriculum

Ice, ice, maybe? The problem with Fredonia’s lack of salt…

[POEM] Inheritance of Fate

[POEM] Ghosts

[POEM] Static Bathe Waves

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Which pop culture moment are you?

Lucas West takes center field with national anthem performance on…

The Leader
Scallion

 Humans steal jobs created for AI: The irony of automation in reverse

Contributor to The Leader
CHATGPT Special to The Leader Graphic by CHATGBT | Special to The Leader In an ironic twist to the global narrative about artificial intelligence (AI) taking human jobs, a new trend is emerging: people are taking jobs initially intended for AI.  With rising distrust in technology, companies and consumers alike......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes and it’s the same but I’m an alum so it’s different 

Contributor to The Leader
JACE JACOBS Former Assistant Editor of The Scallion, “Adult” with a “Job” who “Has To Go To Work”  What’s up Fredonians? I bet you thought you had seen the last of me, with my incredibly well-crafted, tear-stained Letter from the Desk Of and my gorgeous final horoscopes.  WELL GUESS WHAT! ......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What should your sign dress up as for Halloween?

Abbie Miller
ABIGAIL MILLER Editor-in-Chief As the leaves change and my body begins to resist doing anything that resembles schoolwork, I know one thing: it is time. Dust off those black glittery stilettos that you only wear once a year. Dig out the costume you’ve been reusing since freshman year from the......
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Scallion

Why do 10-year-olds think they’re better than me at Dress to Impress?

Contributor to The Leader
ABIGAIL JACOBSON News Editor (AKA Researcher of Dress to Impress) Graphic by Isabella Rizzo | Art Director Guys. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I hate children. Shocking, I know. The only children I love are my nieces, nephews and the child I babysit for.  Every other child, hell......
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Scallion

Local talk show host runs in 2024 election

Contributor to The Leader
ETHAN GOODNESS Special to The Leader BROCK PAPKE  Special to The Leader United States, 2024. A nation trapped in a period of perpetual darkness, with no light in sight. Every day is a civil war. People on both sides of the aisle wage endless battles with each other. Division holds......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Which Starbucks fall menu item are you?

Drew Paluch
ABIGAIL MILLER Editor-in-Chief, Two-Star Comedian Yes, I added another star because The Leader staff told me I was being too hard on myself. Also, I made Scallion Editor Megan Kidby laugh so I’m still riding that wave.  In other exciting news, Starbucks has officially released their fall menu. And who......
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Scallion

NEW SCALLION ASSISTANT WANTED

Contributor to The Leader
MEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor In a groundbreaking upset, Jace Jacobs, the Assistant Scallion Editor for The Leader, has graduated. After this tragic loss of our previous assistant, the editorial board of The Leader has announced the search for a new writing assistant for its highly esteemed (read: barely tolerated) satire......
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