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Fredonia NY
November 17, 2024
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[SATIRE] Megan’s Sports Roundup: Sports from someone who DEFINITELY knows…

Professor Peter Tucker reflects on his time at Fredonia

Trumps wins 2024 presidential election

Fredonia’s violinist David Rose performs from the heart

[SATIRE] Horoscopes and it’s the same but I’m an alum…

The ‘surprisingly chaotic’ Canadaway Creek

Digging into the impact of Fredonia’s faculty cuts

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Reviving community through leadership on the field

The Leader
Scallion

University Police accepting fines in the form of points

Contributor to The Leader
DOM MAGISTRO Asst. Scallion Editor Recent studies show that approximately 42.069 (nice) percent of students at Fredonia have committed some form of parking violation on campus while working on their “four” year degree. This is a 200 percent increase from 1985 when college students did not have to pay to......
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Scallion

Invisible student questions attendance policy

Contributor to The Leader
HANNAH BLIDY Guest Scallywag If you’re a student at Fredonia, you know that every teacher has its own attendance policy. Every semester, professors outline requirements of the course and of those requirements. Attendance is one of the most crucial. The usual policy that professors have is that a student can......
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Scallion

Bernie Sanders wants to get rid of the one percent — yes, even one percent milk

Contributor to The Leader
HANNAH BLIDY Guest Scallywag We all know how passionate Bernie Sanders is about taxing the wealthy. According to his website, if he becomes President, he will implement a policy taxing the extremely wealthy. This tax would be annual for households who make over $32 million per year. In other words,......
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Scallion

Student with too much on his plate continues to add more to his plate

Contributor to The Leader
MATTHEW BAUM Staff Scallywag Everyone loves Joseph Marciniak. He’s talented, he’s muscle-bound, he has a great head of hair, but he has a problem: he’s got too much going on. For those who don’t know, Marciniak is the editor of the Scallion, the assistant director of an upcoming production of......
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Scallion

Fredonia disqualified from ‘Small Business Revolution’

Contributor to The Leader
DOM MAGISTRO Staff Scallywag [That’s Staff Scallywag as in staff satirist. We made this story up, OK. That’s what satirists do. This is a humor section. So stop calling us, already!] [UPDATE: A letter from Joseph Marciniak, Scallion Editor] That’s right, you heard it here first, folks. The Village of......
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Scallion

Jeb Bush DOMINATES Iowa Democratic Primary caucus, receiving 100 percent of delegates

Contributor to The Leader
JOSEPH MARCINIAK Editor of the Scallion In a surprising landslide in the Iowa Democratic Primary, 100 percent of delegates were pledged to Jeb Bush. Many believed it was due to errors in the app they used, but the DNC has confirmed that Jeb Bush has won. Many Democrats are outraged,......
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Scallion

Next year’s Super Bowl halftime show to feature John Leguizamo, Casey Affleck

Contributor to The Leader
MATTHEW BAUM Staff Scallywag The Super Bowl is a massive sporting event, with its annual viewers consisting of football fans, chicken wing dip fans, loud noise fans and a seemingly overwhelming number of live performance experts. The most popular musicians are invited to take the football world by storm for......
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Scallion

$1.6 billion corporation is coming to Fredonia to inject their pocket change and show our puny businesses how its done

Contributor to The Leader
JOSEPH MARCINIAK Editor of the Scallion Fredonia’s small businesses are beaming after the news that this small town has won the “Small Business Revolution.” The $1.6 billion corporation “Deluxe” specializes in revitalizing small businesses and ensuring they succeed throughout the future. And let me be the first to say, thank......
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Scallion

Fredonia invests in top tier gaming lounge for Fredonia eSports; teams still suck

Contributor to The Leader
COREY DALE-MILLER Guest Scallywag For those of you who haven’t heard, SUNY Fredonia has been the recipient of a generous donation for a top tier eSports gaming lounge. The lounge will be located in Schulz Hall and sports the Fredonia Blue Devil’s color, blue. The lounge has already received a......
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