October 26, 2026
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Naloxone becomes available in Gregory Hall

Nation facing a mid-term test

Trump claims leakers ‘should be shot’

AI doesn’t want to take over, it wants your Social…

Student Media, Cornell Incident

LOVERCOLUMN: Legendary Lovers

World leaders address war, conflicts at UN General Assembly

Issues of Sports Gambling

From Fredonia to New Mexico?  

A playlist for each mood: Yearning  

The Leader
Scallion

Don’t worry guys, we don’t have to protest anymore: Fredonia put out a vague statement again, we’re good.

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesJOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor Fredonia is struggling. From the first week of classes, several protests have taken place, fighting for causes such as accountability for sexual predators and Black Lives Matter.  It is, however, safe to say that our voices have been heard. The following email was sent to all......
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Scallion

Hey anime, I’m straight! Got that?

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesBRIAN CECALA Guest Scallywag Listen here, whoever it is designs the anime characters: I AM STRAIGHT! So stop making your characters these hot twinky boys, capeesh? Stop pushing your far left agenda to make me attracted to men.  Yes, I find your characters extremely attractive but that’s because you keep......
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Scallion

Horoscopes

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesHANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag aries: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! – you, this week. taurus: ok so are you going to send aquarius the homework for math 115 or what…  gemini: wow, you’ve got a lot of people in your tinder dm’s for someone who’s supposed to be quarantining. cancer: i’m sensing some chaotic......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] It’s a doobie! Gender reveal party sets creek on fire

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesTHALIA MAGISTRO Staff Scallywag Many of you may have read that the effects of the Oregon wildfires have reached the East Coast and I am here to assuage your fears. This is, in fact, false information. The true cause of the red haze you have found over campus in the......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] As if things couldn’t get worse, ex-interim president Hefner has been wandering around campus with a gun

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesJAY BYRONGuest Scallywag With all of the commotion going on with COVID-19, non-potable water and general college anxiety, most students are on their toes already. Students are sick and tired of hearing or reading the word “unprecedented.” Shockingly enough, their stress meters have indeed skyrocketed. The reason, of course, is......
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Scallion

Trump says Biden is a bunch of ferrets in a trench coat

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Assistant Scallion Editor Once again, Donald Trump has been convinced of an out-of-this-world conspiracy theory that he found on social media. In a recent flurry of tweets, the president makes it clear that he is under the impression that vice president Joe Biden, the 2020 democratic candidate, is......
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Scallion

Uh oh, orange man! Small hands! Cheeto man, hehehe, big baby man! That’s right: Trump

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: < 1 minuteJOSEPH MARCINIAKScallion Editor Watch out! Small hands, hehehe! Who do I mean? Big baby man who is orange, who else could I mean but El Presidente, the man behind the pee tape (Got em!), Dongal Tromp!  Orange man, boo! Skin orange! Laugh at orange skin!  Hands? Small. Donald? Drumpf. Eat......
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Scallion

Reanimated rotting bodies of the 32nd Massachusetts of 1864 beat the shit out of Donald Trump

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Assistant Scallion Editor In a bizarre twist of fate, President Donald Trump was attacked by the reanimated corpses of a long-dead group of American Union soldiers from the Civil War.  The corpses in question were members of the 32nd Massachusetts Infantry Unit, who served under the also-dead Colonel......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Top five criminal activities available to you this fall

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 3 minutesTHALIA MAGISTRO Staff Scallywag Sometimes the desperate need to commit heinous crimes on campus comes to you. I get it. Filthy criminals like you don’t stop, and why should you? That’s why I’ve compiled a list, in no particular order, of the top five ways you can get put in......
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