The Scallion - Page 86 of 87 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

The Lampoon’s guide to a successful parent’s weekend

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 22, 2014

October 22, 2014

Reading Time: 2 minutesLEO FRANK Lampoon Editor So, your parents are coming to visit this weekend. They’re excited to see how their little scholar is doing out there in the wide world, and you do not want to disappoint. You want to show them that you’re doing well, you’ve got your act together......

Scallion

Being Awkward: falling

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 22, 2014

October 22, 2014

Reading Time: 2 minutesAWKWARD ANNIE Special to The Lampoon Nothing quite compares to the heightened terror that comes with feeling like you are going to fall. It is as if gravity is a hand pulling you to the depths of the Earth. You try to maintain equilibrium by flailing your arms around like......

Scallion

Pet Peeves of Fredonians

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 22, 2014

October 22, 2014

Reading Time: 2 minutesKELLY CANER Lampoonist • People who cut on the sandwich line at Willies: We all hate it when someone starts to slither their way into the line. What is even worse is allowing it to happen! Listen people, you have been waiting in this god-forsaken line for a lukewarm, limp......

Scallion

How to pay off your student loans without really paying off your student loans

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 15, 2014

October 15, 2014

Reading Time: 2 minutesLEO FRANK Lampoon Editor Seniors love to hate talking about student loans. Actually, probably everybody with student loans loves to hate talking about them — but I think those of us staring down the barrel of graduation in May love hating talking about student loans with a little more overall......

Scallion

Fredonia announces “free tobacco” initiative

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 15, 2014

October 15, 2014

Reading Time: < 1 minuteANITA TENSION Special to The Lampoon In a reversal that took the campus community by surprise, Fredonia administrators announced in a press release Monday that they would be abandoning the current campus “Tobacco-Free” smoking policy and instating in its place a “free tobacco” initiative. Under the new initiative, on-campus dispensers......

Scallion

Being Awkward: Dazed and Confused

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 15, 2014

October 15, 2014

Reading Time: 2 minutesAWKWARD ANNIE Special to The Lampoon Can you remember the last time you got a good night’s sleep? Probably not. We are in college, so a restful night to us is getting about five hours. Since we are in a zombied state most of the time already, add a lecture......

Scallion

Fred Fest Comic

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 8, 2014August 17, 2019

October 8, 2014August 17, 2019

Reading Time: < 1 minute...

Scallion

Four things you can do instead of dropping your Calio’s box on Temple

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 8, 2014

October 8, 2014

Reading Time: 2 minutesANITA TENSION Special to The Lampoon Look, I get it. You’re wasted. That guy/girl you were talking to slipped out of the bar before you could get his/her number. You’re tired and, although most of the grease made it into your facehole along with the one-pound slab of meat, cheese......

Scallion

Reviews: Top 6 most noteworthy toilets on the Fredonia campus

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 1, 2014

October 1, 2014

Reading Time: 3 minutesLEO FRANK Lampoon Editor Traditionally, the Lampoon dedicates its pages to lighthearted, fun content. And we love doing it. But lately we’ve been thinking about Big Questions. For example, how should a person be? And what are our essential responsibilities to one another as humans? Also, what’s the best place......

Scallion

Being Awkward: Late for Class

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 1, 2014

October 1, 2014

Reading Time: 3 minutesAWKWARD ANNIE Special to the Lampoon Nothing compares to the feeling you get when you open your eyes in the morning, look at your phone and realize that you have successfully turned off your alarm in your sleep — it is now 20 minutes into your 9:00 a.m. class. It’s......

5th Quarter Column: McDermott fired after latest playoff heartbreak

5th Quarter Column: Rocky road leads Bills to Denver

5th Quarter Column: California Dreamin’

Printing points introduced for students, staff

5th Quarter Column: Allen regains MVP form with six scores

Fredonia’s hockey recruiting extends across the nation, world

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What dessert should you bring to your fall…

The ultimate cran-baby tier list

A girlfriend’s guide to watching your partner play video games

Lovercolumn: Expressions of Love

The Lampoon’s guide to a successful parent’s weekend

Being Awkward: falling

Pet Peeves of Fredonians

How to pay off your student loans without really paying off your student loans

Fredonia announces “free tobacco” initiative

Being Awkward: Dazed and Confused

Fred Fest Comic

Four things you can do instead of dropping your Calio’s box on Temple

Reviews: Top 6 most noteworthy toilets on the Fredonia campus

Being Awkward: Late for Class