The Scallion - Page 82 of 82 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

Expectations vs. Reality of Starting a New Semester

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 24, 2014

September 24, 2014

KELLY CANER Staff Lampoonist Excessive Drinking Expectation: You are a Sophomore now, so basically you’re a high functioning member of society. You’re above those Freshman days of fermenting your stolen fruit from Cranston. You drink wine and watch documentaries on Netflix. Reality: You are still the raging alcoholic you were......

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Being Awkward: Hot Guys

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 24, 2014

September 24, 2014

AWKWARD ANNIE Special to The Lampoon We’ve all been there before. You’re with your girls coming back from Tim’s with a multigrain grilled cheese and a purple gatorade in hand, and all of the sudden you see him. The man of your dreams, in tight khaki pants and a fitted......

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Ask The Lampoon

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 24, 2014

September 24, 2014

Dear Lampoon, Okay. So I had a party this weekend and when I sent out the Facebook invite, I accidentally invited this guy I don’t like. Now it’s Wednesday and he won’t leave me alone. He follows me between classes, messages me every few hours, and was waiting outside my......

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Sex and the SUNY: 5 Things to Know when Dating in College

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 17, 2014

September 17, 2014

KELLY CANER Lampoonist 1. Location, Location, Location! Dating requires one very important aspect: going on dates. But since we’re in college, and none of us are in position to be swaggin on over to Bob Evans with piles of cash, we have to improvise. The Fredonia campus provides a plethora......

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Eye contact accidentally made in computer lab

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 17, 2014

September 17, 2014

LEO FRANK Lampoon Editor Fredonia student Amanda Carson says she’d been writing a paper in the McEwen computer lab for only half an hour on Monday when she accidentally let her eyes meet those of a man working across from her. “Oh, goddamnit,” Carson said ten minutes later. “I think......

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Apple announces newest piece of tech “iRaq”

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 17, 2014

September 17, 2014

MATT PERLOFF Special to The Leader CUPERTINO, CA — Last week at their annual press conference, Apple leaders excitedly revealed a new device, iRaq. Marking 13 years since the first generation iPod, they showed off many of the device’s new features, namely remote control capabilities. “A very exciting feature of......

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Top 5 Ways Bill Nye and I Will Become Best Friends During His Time in Fredonia, in Order of Increasing Preference

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 3, 2014

September 3, 2014

Picture from courtesy of thelostogle.com LEO FRANK Lampoon Editor In two weeks, beloved scientist, educator, entertainer and activist Bill Nye will be in Fredonia giving a speech. While this is certainly exciting for the university and the community, it is even more exciting for me, because Bill Nye and I......

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Sex and the SUNY: …Or is this just fantasy?

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 3, 2014

September 3, 2014

KELLY CANER Staff Writer I raised an eyebrow as my silver fox chiropractor was lathering Biofreeze into my childbearing hips. He was rambling on and on about realigning my spine, but the only thing that needed realigning was his full, enticing mustache onto my lips. I kept drifting off into......

SUNYACtion on the horizon: Brockport and Geneseo Leave Conference

Statement regarding our latest issue: 4/23/24

[OPINION] Lovercolumn: Keeping the Spark Alive

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What the last month of the semester has…

Students behind the arts: Mackenzie White

New Exhibit in the Barker Museum: “The Fredonia Un-Censored”

[OPINION] A proposed plan for trauma-informed care at SUNY Fredonia

Safer sex for college students

[SATIRE] Abby’s silly little birthday list

Vice President for Finance and Administration Michael Kelly resigns

Expectations vs. Reality of Starting a New Semester

Being Awkward: Hot Guys

Ask The Lampoon

Sex and the SUNY: 5 Things to Know when Dating in College

Eye contact accidentally made in computer lab

Apple announces newest piece of tech “iRaq”

Top 5 Ways Bill Nye and I Will Become Best Friends During His Time in Fredonia, in Order of Increasing Preference

Sex and the SUNY: …Or is this just fantasy?