Campus Humor

Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderMay 10, 2021May 9, 2021

May 10, 2021May 9, 2021

HANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag the signs as stuff in fredonia aries: Sunny’s taurus: strawberry lemonade from Starbucks gemini: Uppercrust cancer: Reed Library leo: the clock tower virgo: Canadaway Street libra: overpriced sweatshirt at the bookstore scorpio: Muldoon’s sagittarius: Tuscany capricorn: the F in Fredonia that got stolen that one time ......

Scallion

Catching up with Geraldine, SUNY Fredonia’s first gecko student

Contributor to The LeaderMay 6, 2021May 7, 2021

May 6, 2021May 7, 2021

MATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor It’s been over a year since we’ve had the luxury of meeting and talking with Geraldine Wilcox and her former roommate, Savannah, and we at the Scallion wanted to hear how this dynamic duo has been handling the 2020-21 school year, given all that’s happened. When......

Scallion

I need to apologize…

Contributor to The LeaderApril 23, 2021April 23, 2021

April 23, 2021April 23, 2021

BRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag I did an oopsie guys. The article I posted about things in Fredonia that would kill Prince Philip went up on April 8. The following day he died of unknown circumstances. The legal statement from the Scallion says this is strictly coincidental, and the article did......

Scallion

[SATIRE] What is hiding inside of Thompson Hall? An investigation

Contributor to The LeaderApril 19, 2021April 19, 2021

April 19, 2021April 19, 2021

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag While many of Fredonia’s mysteries may remain that way for a while, (the list goes on, but I’ll just quietly mention the Mason arsonist so I don’t have to talk about the dog food smell) I have one that I solved through the course of one day.......

Scallion

[SATIRE] A letter from the WHAT: Fredonia immunity and you

Contributor to The LeaderApril 2, 2021March 30, 2021

April 2, 2021March 30, 2021

LYDIA TURCIOS Guest Scallywag Salutations, students! To the student body of SUNY Fredonia comes breaking news from the World Headquarters for Alternate Treatment. If you cannot get your hands on any of the currently available COVID-19 vaccines, you’re in luck! Your campus is under review to be an immunity hotspot!......

Scallion

BRIAN CECALA IS THE NEW CHIEF OF FREDONIA U.P. AND HE HAS NEW RULES

Contributor to The LeaderApril 1, 2021March 30, 2021

April 1, 2021March 30, 2021

BRIAN CECALA KING OF FREDONIA WHAT’S UP ASSH*LES. FOR APRIL FOOLS POLICE NOTTERS, THE CHIEF OF POLICE SAID I COULD BE THE POLICE CHIEF AND HE WOULD WRITE A FUNNY ARTICLE. HOWEVER, I PULLED AN APRIL PRANK. I HAVE STATED SOME NEW RULES FOR ALL FREDONIA STUDENTS. NEW RULE 1......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Admin debates how to tell President Kolison about FredFest

Contributor to The LeaderApril 1, 2021March 30, 2021

April 1, 2021March 30, 2021

JAMES MEAD Editor, Barely Managing to Write This Semester Well, it’s almost that time of the semester, and FredFest is on everyone’s minds — everyone but SUNY Fredonia’s new president, that is. FredFest, an annual Fredonia tradition where college students raise money in support of their unhealthy alcohol habits, was......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Look out Fredonia Twitter, The Leader’s making some changes

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 31, 2021March 30, 2021

March 31, 2021March 30, 2021

MATTHEW BAUM Editor of the Scallion and MtS fanboy To say that the internet is a mixed bag would be an understatement. There are trolls and memers, there are political extremists getting into scraps with everyday citizens and most importantly, there are spheres of fandom that revolve entirely around the......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Police Notters are back, baby!

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 26, 2021March 23, 2021

March 26, 2021March 23, 2021

BRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag In April of 2019, the police stopped giving the Scallion permission to post the campus police reports. I, however told the Chief of Campus Police that if they didn’t give me permission to post the daily reports, I would write the article “Fredonia Campus Police Chief......

Scallion

Joe Marciniak is NOT the editor of the Scallion, and now he has short legs

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 21, 2021March 15, 2021

March 21, 2021March 15, 2021

MATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor That’s right. Joe Marciniak, local strongman and former editor of the Scallion, has been dethroned. It is I, Matthew Baum, who wears the noble title of Editor nowadays, and I am taking my newfound power very seriously. My first order of business was to erect a......

[OPINION] McEwen Café is superior to Mason Café

Lovercolumn: PERIOD!

Lacrosse: A worldwide game with local origins

Who’s the best: MJ or LeBron? I say LeBron

Who’s the best: MJ or LeBron? I say MJ

Amanda Drummond seeks to provide safety and security, one step…

Blue Devils shine in front of hockey – and basketball…

Becoming radicalized on book banning

5th Quarter Column: College Football; Sport or Business?

Lovercolumn: Navigating Breakups

Horoscopes

Catching up with Geraldine, SUNY Fredonia’s first gecko student

I need to apologize…

[SATIRE] What is hiding inside of Thompson Hall? An investigation

[SATIRE] A letter from the WHAT: Fredonia immunity and you

BRIAN CECALA IS THE NEW CHIEF OF FREDONIA U.P. AND HE HAS NEW RULES

[SATIRE] Admin debates how to tell President Kolison about FredFest

[SATIRE] Look out Fredonia Twitter, The Leader’s making some changes

[SATIRE] Police Notters are back, baby!

Joe Marciniak is NOT the editor of the Scallion, and now he has short legs