Campus Humor

Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor That’s right. Joe Marciniak, local strongman and former editor of the Scallion, has been dethroned.  It is I, Matthew Baum, who wears the noble title of Editor nowadays, and I am taking my newfound power very seriously. My first order of business was to erect a......

Reading Time: 3 minutesBRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag Recent reports around the campus have students worried. Sightings of a “demon-esque” figure crawling around on all fours on campus. Some say if you let it get too close, he’ll tickle you. Thus he has been dubbed “The Tickler.” I interviewed students who have claimed sightings......

Reading Time: 2 minutesJOSEPH MARCINIAK Retired Editor of The Scallion Well folks, this is it: my last article as editor. After much thought, I have decided to take my extended legs and take them home, since I am retiring. I have claimed my pension, and all my benefits.  I, Joseph Marciniak, humble servant......

Reading Time: 3 minutesJAY BYRONStaff Scallywag As I was thinking about what to do for this article, I realized that I talk big game about hand holding. It’s a fun activity that anyone can participate in. I figured it appeals to the mass audience. However, I realize there are some people out there......

Reading Time: 2 minutesJOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor A local English student, Paul Crendal, has begun to wonder when his “good writing skills” will kick in, latest reports say. According to eyewitness reports, Crendal struggled to come up with even one solid opening sentence for his creative writing class while working in the library.......