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From the Desk Of Jordan Patterson, News Editor: The remaining days

Contributor to The Leader
  11 a.m. Sunday morning. The sun creeps in just a little. A pounding headache ensues. The initial thoughts are confusing, and the clothes are the same as last night. The bedroom smells of cheap drinks, and the living room isn’t any better. The coffee table is patterned with beer......
Scallion

Surreal Baldwin portrayal replaces surreal president at WHCD

Contributor to The Leader
EMMA PATTERSON Staff Lampoonist   He’s back, folks! Alec Baldwin, the actor most notably known for his surreal portrayal of Donald Trump on “Saturday Night Live” (among other roles, but let’s be real, this is his best), is slated to replace Trump at the head of the White House Correspondents’......
Scallion

Trump travel ban receives coveted 5-star rating from ISIS: Dayum! That’s a great ban!

Contributor to The Leader
PATRICK BENNETT Staff Lampoonist   The severely outdated and irrelevant restaurant-locating website Yelp just received news that an organization had awarded Trump’s travel ban five stars. The totally peaceful and fun-loving organization that distributed the perfect rating? ISIS. News had broke that ISIS gave Trump’s travel ban the coveted five-star......

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