March 6, 2026
Featured

5th Quarter Column: McDermott fired after latest playoff heartbreak

5th Quarter Column: Rocky road leads Bills to Denver

5th Quarter Column: California Dreamin’

Printing points introduced for students, staff

5th Quarter Column: Allen regains MVP form with six scores

Fredonia’s hockey recruiting extends across the nation, world

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What dessert should you bring to your fall…

The ultimate cran-baby tier list

A girlfriend’s guide to watching your partner play video games

Lovercolumn: Expressions of Love

The Leader

funny

Scallion

[SATIRE] Top 10 Reasons Why My Dad Should Be President

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesJACE JACOBS  Assistant Scallion Editor  Photo By TARA WINSTEAD | Provided by Pexels Election season is quickly approaching, and I thought it would benefit the public to know why I feel my father would be the best choice for president of the United States. (PS. Please don’t tell him I......
Read more
Scallion

[SATIRE] QUIZ: Does Your Crush Like You Back?

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor Graphic by KAROLINA GRABOWSKA | Courtesy of Pexels In my humble editor’s opinion, you really shouldn’t date in college because college people are icky, but if you REALLY want to know if your crush likes you, I suggest taking this quiz!  Question #1: What is your......
Read more
Scallion

[SATIRE] PLEASE write for the Scallion

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor Photo by Element5 Digital | Courtesy of Pexels Dear Witty Wordsmiths and Hilarious Humans, Greetings from the Headquarters of The Scallion, the renowned newspaper section that tickles funny bones and stimulates chuckles on a daily basis! We hope this letter finds you in a state of......
Read more
Scallion

[SATIRE] Funk Fever flashes into Fredonia: Flunking finals due to fancy footwork

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor  The fall semester is coming to a close, and a typical indicator of the season is the image of stressed students trudging from one class to the next, their thoughts full to bursting with half-forgotten class subjects and project deadlines. Oddly enough, however, a new phenomenon......
Read more
Scallion

[SATIRE] Fredonia announces university-wide activities to boost morale

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMEGAN KIDBY Guest Scallywag  In order to boost morale and entice admissions applicants, President Stephen Kolison of SUNY Fredonia has just announced some school-wide activities that have been planned for the school year!  In an email sent to the student body last week, Kolison declared that “the vibe on campus......
Read more
Scallion

[SATIRE] “We were just kidding,” says billions of missing snow crabs

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor As it turns out, crabs have a tremendous sense of humor.  Last week, reports had shown that there was a shortage of over two billion Alaskan snow crabs when compared to expected numbers based on population projections. Be it a sign of overfishing, a devastating loss......
Read more

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. By clicking any link on this page, you are permitting us to set cookies. Accept Read More