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December 22, 2024
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The Leader

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Scallion

[SATIRE] Funk Fever flashes into Fredonia: Flunking finals due to fancy footwork

Contributor to The Leader
MATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor  The fall semester is coming to a close, and a typical indicator of the season is the image of stressed students trudging from one class to the next, their thoughts full to bursting with half-forgotten class subjects and project deadlines. Oddly enough, however, a new phenomenon......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Fredonia announces university-wide activities to boost morale

Contributor to The Leader
MEGAN KIDBY Guest Scallywag  In order to boost morale and entice admissions applicants, President Stephen Kolison of SUNY Fredonia has just announced some school-wide activities that have been planned for the school year!  In an email sent to the student body last week, Kolison declared that “the vibe on campus......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] “We were just kidding,” says billions of missing snow crabs

Contributor to The Leader
MATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor As it turns out, crabs have a tremendous sense of humor.  Last week, reports had shown that there was a shortage of over two billion Alaskan snow crabs when compared to expected numbers based on population projections. Be it a sign of overfishing, a devastating loss......
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