funny

[SATIRE] You know, I think we need to replace the Bird scooters with horses

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 27, 2022September 27, 2022

September 27, 2022September 27, 2022

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag You heard me. Well, okay, hear me out. I have so many reasons. In fact, I’m gonna list ‘em right off for you because I know my idea would work out better than these other trifling chump transportation devices. 1. Horses are good for the environment. While......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes as random stuff happening in the news right now

Contributor to The LeaderMay 5, 2022May 4, 2022

May 5, 2022May 4, 2022

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag This is the signs as all the random stuff happening in the news right now! Aries: Casual wildfires happening Taurus: Going back and forth between freezing weather and almost 80 degrees Gemini: Lorde shushing the audience because she wants to have the solo Cancer: The Met Gala......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Not a single SUNY Fredonia a cappella group will let me into their group and here’s why

Contributor to The LeaderApril 19, 2022April 18, 2022

April 19, 2022April 18, 2022

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Okay, I’ll admit it. Acafest was really cool. Like, okay, sure, everyone did a good job. G Train? Can’t go wrong. However, I have some complaints. ‘Cause, like, not cool, guys. I auditioned for every single one of your little singy groups, and not a single one......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Wee oo Wee oo Police Notters Alert NEW RULES

Contributor to The LeaderApril 6, 2022April 10, 2022

April 6, 2022April 10, 2022

BRIAN CECALA Real Cop at SUNY Fredonia Listen up, chumps. The University Police are getting real tired of your S#@*. We heard the news that they’re closing down Tim Hortons on campus, and we’re FED UP. We gotta go to Starbucks to get donuts? NO WAY, JOSE. We’re not playing......

Scallion

[SATIRE] I’m only holding out for Burger Wednesday

Contributor to The LeaderApril 1, 2022April 4, 2022

April 1, 2022April 4, 2022

MATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor I’m keeping it real with you, guys. This semester is whopping my whopper. Really, no lie. I’m absolutely befrungled this spring. Bescringled, even. There is only one thing that’s keeping me in the loop, and I’m not alone. Burger Wednesday. Walking into Cranston Marché as a......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Disappearance of the ‘FRED’ sign and other stuff that probably doesn’t matter as much

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 31, 2022March 30, 2022

March 31, 2022March 30, 2022

MATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor Over spring break, while hordes of college students spent way too much money and acted recklessly in public, the FRED sign on campus was taken away, as well as some other things. We’ll cover the other things, but my main priority is the signage to our......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Predicting how your week is gonna go

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 30, 2022March 29, 2022

March 30, 2022March 29, 2022

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Welcome back to your favorite article series ever. I’m here to do a classic: predict how your week is gonna go. Aries: It’s your time to shine, Aries, and you know it! The winds are beckoning you. You’re gonna spend some well-deserved time outside, probably near the......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Fredonia professor has hilarious bit

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 28, 2022February 28, 2022

February 28, 2022February 28, 2022

BRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag This article is written for comedic purposes. A SUNY Fredonia professor is making news across the country for the hilarious bit he’s been doing for years! I’ve been taking a philosophy class with this jokester, and when I heard him blurt out this cheeky joke, the......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Students advocate for global warming in response to unreasonable winter weather

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 26, 2022February 27, 2022

February 26, 2022February 27, 2022

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag (This article is written for comedic purposes. For factual information on global warming, visit Fredonia’s Climate Education Initiative website: fredonia.edu/about/offices/climate-education-initiative/climate-facts.) Going to Fredonia, you were probably already aware that the weather was gonna be quite the treat. We all knew that snow was a big thing to......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Why we should parachute beavers onto the Fredonia campus

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 15, 2021November 15, 2021

November 15, 2021November 15, 2021

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag The other day, I was scrolling on my phone like any zoomer might do. I checked every single social media account for something to catch my eye, but alas, I was brought to boredom. Nothing was doing it for me. Why is this world so boring? I......

Lovercolumn: The Transgender Experience

5th Quarter Column: Coop there it is

Peppermint from RuPaul’s Drag Race visits SUNY Fredonia

County health department declares Lena’s Pizza safe after YikYak scare

A Gen(s)erational Tennis Legacy

What will happen to freshmen who are attending Fredonia with…

Horoscopes: What should your sign dress up as for Halloween?

TADA to perform “Legally Blonde: The Musical”

Opinion on opinions

Why do 10-year-olds think they’re better than me at Dress…

[SATIRE] You know, I think we need to replace the Bird scooters with horses

[SATIRE] Horoscopes as random stuff happening in the news right now

[SATIRE] Not a single SUNY Fredonia a cappella group will let me into their group and here’s why

[SATIRE] Wee oo Wee oo Police Notters Alert NEW RULES

[SATIRE] I’m only holding out for Burger Wednesday

[SATIRE] Disappearance of the ‘FRED’ sign and other stuff that probably doesn’t matter as much

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Predicting how your week is gonna go

[SATIRE] Fredonia professor has hilarious bit

[SATIRE] Students advocate for global warming in response to unreasonable winter weather

[SATIRE] Why we should parachute beavers onto the Fredonia campus