March 6, 2026
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5th Quarter Column: McDermott fired after latest playoff heartbreak

5th Quarter Column: Rocky road leads Bills to Denver

5th Quarter Column: California Dreamin’

Printing points introduced for students, staff

5th Quarter Column: Allen regains MVP form with six scores

Fredonia’s hockey recruiting extends across the nation, world

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What dessert should you bring to your fall…

The ultimate cran-baby tier list

A girlfriend’s guide to watching your partner play video games

Lovercolumn: Expressions of Love

The Leader

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Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesJAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Welcome to your favorite article of the week, Horoscopes! In this edition, I decide which Fredonia activity you should partake in this week. Aries: Email the head of your department and tell them what a fantastic job they’re doing in long, convoluted essay format. Taurus: Reminisce Tim......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] You know, I think we need to replace the Bird scooters with horses

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesJAY BYRONStaff Scallywag You heard me. Well, okay, hear me out. I have so many reasons. In fact, I’m gonna list ‘em right off for you because I know my idea would work out better than these other trifling chump transportation devices. 1. Horses are good for the environment. While......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes as random stuff happening in the news right now

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: < 1 minuteJAY BYRONStaff Scallywag This is the signs as all the random stuff happening in the news right now! Aries: Casual wildfires happening Taurus: Going back and forth between freezing weather and almost 80 degrees Gemini: Lorde shushing the audience because she wants to have the solo Cancer: The Met Gala......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Not a single SUNY Fredonia a cappella group will let me into their group and here’s why

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesJAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Okay, I’ll admit it. Acafest was really cool. Like, okay, sure, everyone did a good job. G Train? Can’t go wrong. However, I have some complaints. ‘Cause, like, not cool, guys. I auditioned for every single one of your little singy groups, and not a single one......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] I’m only holding out for Burger Wednesday

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor I’m keeping it real with you, guys. This semester is whopping my whopper. Really, no lie. I’m absolutely befrungled this spring. Bescringled, even.  There is only one thing that’s keeping me in the loop, and I’m not alone.  Burger Wednesday.  Walking into Cranston Marché as a......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Disappearance of the ‘FRED’ sign and other stuff that probably doesn’t matter as much

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor   Over spring break, while hordes of college students spent way too much money and acted recklessly in public, the FRED sign on campus was taken away, as well as some other things. We’ll cover the other things, but my main priority is the signage to our......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Predicting how your week is gonna go

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 3 minutesJAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Welcome back to your favorite article series ever. I’m here to do a classic: predict how your week is gonna go. Aries: It’s your time to shine, Aries, and you know it! The winds are beckoning you. You’re gonna spend some well-deserved time outside, probably near the......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Fredonia professor has hilarious bit

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesBRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag  This article is written for comedic purposes.  A SUNY Fredonia professor is making news across the country for the hilarious bit he’s been doing for years! I’ve been taking a philosophy class with this jokester, and when I heard him blurt out this cheeky joke, the......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Students advocate for global warming in response to unreasonable winter weather

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 3 minutesJAY BYRONStaff Scallywag (This article is written for comedic purposes. For factual information on global warming, visit Fredonia’s Climate Education Initiative website: fredonia.edu/about/offices/climate-education-initiative/climate-facts.) Going to Fredonia, you were probably already aware that the weather was gonna be quite the treat. We all knew that snow was a big thing to......
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