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Fredonia NY
March 26, 2025
Featured

Nine minors to be removed from Fredonia curriculum

Ice, ice, maybe? The problem with Fredonia’s lack of salt…

[POEM] Inheritance of Fate

[POEM] Ghosts

[POEM] Static Bathe Waves

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Which pop culture moment are you?

Lucas West takes center field with national anthem performance on…

New rule halts music lessons on campus

Police Blotter (Issue 3 | Spring 2025)

[SATIRE] Local Scallion Editor runs out of ideas

The Leader

Horoscopes

Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Life lessons from the signs

Contributor to The Leader
JACE JACOBS Assistant Editor of The Scallion, Senior! Graduating! Woohoo!  My dearest Fredheads,  I regret to inform you all that this will be the last time you’ll read my wonderful, beautiful, incredibly accurate, always hilarious horoscopes. Although I am overjoyed to be leaving America’s favorite dog food town, I am......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Moments of womanhood aligned with the signs

Contributor to The Leader
JACE JACOBSAssistant Editor of The Scallion  ABIGAIL MILLER  Managing Editor  Hello Fredonians and a very happy Woman Issue to all who celebrate (guys please don’t hate me for calling it that, it’s literally what our Editor in Chief called it)!  For some context, I am a transgender man, so although......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Why your sign should sign up for The Bachelor

Contributor to The Leader
FACE FACOBSNew Assistant Editor of The Scallion, Jace’s Replacement Hello everyone! My name is Face Facobs and I am Jace Jacobs’ official replacement! In light of his horoscopes being too long, he has been fired, and I have replaced him. Although we’ve never met, I’ve decided to throw my predecessor......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What does the month of March have in mind for your sign?

Contributor to The Leader
JACE JACOBSAssistant Editor of The Scallion, Chloe Kowalyk’s Least Favorite Staff Member (Apparently) Hi guys, welcome back to another edition of Jace’s super great and awesome horoscopes. At our last e-board meeting for The Leader, our editor-in-chief told me I needed to “make the horoscopes shorter” and “edit myself.” I......
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