Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderMay 10, 2021May 9, 2021

May 10, 2021May 9, 2021

HANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag the signs as stuff in fredonia aries: Sunny’s taurus: strawberry lemonade from Starbucks gemini: Uppercrust cancer: Reed Library leo: the clock tower virgo: Canadaway Street libra: overpriced sweatshirt at the bookstore scorpio: Muldoon’s sagittarius: Tuscany capricorn: the F in Fredonia that got stolen that one time ......

Scallion

Horoscopes

Leader AdSenseApril 26, 2021April 26, 2021

April 26, 2021April 26, 2021

HANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag How the signs spend their mental health days aries: definitely not the homework they’ve been meaning to do since week 2 taurus: listening to chug jug with you 12 hour version gemini: playing modded minecraft for the entire day, only stopping to piss and eat pizza......

Scallion

Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderApril 4, 2021April 4, 2021

April 4, 2021April 4, 2021

MATTHEW BAUM God of the Ocean (I still don’t know the order, and at this point I’m too afraid to ask, so here we go) VIRGO: You’ve got a lot of tension in your neck and shoulders. Take a minute to stretch your muscles a little. TAURUS: I’d like you......

Scallion

Horoscopes, special edition: Scallywag Brian Cecala’s old Facebook photos

Contributor to The LeaderApril 3, 2021March 30, 2021

April 3, 2021March 30, 2021

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Aries Taurus Gemini Cancer Leo Virgo Libra Scorpio Sagittarius Capricorn Aquarius Pisces...

Scallion

Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 28, 2021March 28, 2021

March 28, 2021March 28, 2021

MATTHEW BAUM Astrology amateur and general party-pooper **DISCLAIMER** — I do not know much about astrology, so these will be out of order. If you could, print them in this order. I think it’ll be funny. Libra: You’re gonna want to avoid eating any fish items this week. I......

Scallion

Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 22, 2021March 22, 2021

March 22, 2021March 22, 2021

HANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag aries: fart fart fart you little gassy fart muncher! you little fart baby. farty fart fart. you love big farts, small farts, even poopy farts! whenever you feel the need to pass gas, you’re like, hell yeah i’ll fart right now! i bet you have a......

Scallion

Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 13, 2021March 13, 2021

March 13, 2021March 13, 2021

HANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag the signs in one word or less aries: moist taurus: bug gemini: beanz cancer: maldives leo: angry virgo: lightswitch libra: pretty scorpio: FIRE!!!!! sagittarius: lamp capricorn: what? aquarius: hat pisces: orange...

Scallion

Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 7, 2021March 7, 2021

March 7, 2021March 7, 2021

HANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag aries: f*ckin’ uh i don’t know taurus: ur like a little f*ckin’ turtle gemini: underrated air sign we love u gemini babies cancer: cry baby oooo whatcha gonna do f*ckin’ cry about it? leo: why don’t you un-repress your emotions and then we can talk about......

Scallion

Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 1, 2021March 1, 2021

March 1, 2021March 1, 2021

HANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag aries: f*ckin’ uh i don’t know taurus: ur like a little f*ckin’ turtle gemini: underrated air sign we love u gemini babies cancer: cry baby oooo whatcha gonna do f*ckin’ cry about it? leo: why don’t you un-repress your emotions and then we can talk about......

Scallion

Horoscopes: The signs as Scallion articles

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 21, 2021February 21, 2021

February 21, 2021February 21, 2021

HANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag Guess what everyone! This is my 10th time writing the horoscopes!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!!! In honor of this MOMENTOUS occasion, I have decided to read literally every Scallion article written in 2020 and choose one for each sign!!!!!!!!!! Isn’t that fun???????? Also it means I get to do......

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From the Desk of Jace Jacobs: Asst. Scallion Editor

From the Desk of Nicole Thorson: Art Director

From the Desk of Henry Domst: Design Editor

From the Desk of Sierra Mills: Chief Copy Editor

[SATIRE] An interview with The Bachelor’s winner, Henry Domst

[OPINION] What COVID-19 inadvertently taught us

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Dr. Kathryn Kendall takes on enrollment

Horoscopes

Horoscopes

Horoscopes

Horoscopes

Horoscopes, special edition: Scallywag Brian Cecala’s old Facebook photos

Horoscopes

Horoscopes

Horoscopes

Horoscopes

Horoscopes

Horoscopes: The signs as Scallion articles