Horoscopes

Horoscopes: Election edition

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 2, 2020November 2, 2020

November 2, 2020November 2, 2020

HANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag This week, we have a special edition of the horoscopes. These are the people that each of the signs would vote for. Aries: You will not be voting at all because you’re pissed off at the establishment. Taurus: You will be writing in Elizabeth Warren, because......

Scallion

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 17, 2020October 17, 2020

October 17, 2020October 17, 2020

HANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag aries: (you are small in this scenario) hello littel tiney babie you are small! !!!! taurus: ~~~~~~~~~living lifeeeeee <3 gemini: move it move it babey i know u love to dance! cancer: squeak squeak lil mousey babie so small!!!!!!!!! leo: nothing bad ever happens to the......

Scallion

Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 9, 2020October 9, 2020

October 9, 2020October 9, 2020

HANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag aries: take a nap. you deserve it. also, i wish i was taking a nap right now instead of writing the horoscopes. taurus: guess what i just bought at tj maxx! i got some cool skincare products and i’m really excited to try them out. let’s......

Scallion

Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 28, 2020September 28, 2020

September 28, 2020September 28, 2020

HANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag aries: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! – you, this week. taurus: ok so are you going to send aquarius the homework for math 115 or what… gemini: wow, you’ve got a lot of people in your tinder dm’s for someone who’s supposed to be quarantining. cancer: i’m sensing some chaotic......

Scallion

Horoscopes, 9/12

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 12, 2020September 12, 2020

September 12, 2020September 12, 2020

HANNAH BLIDYStaff Scallywag aries: corona got you down? check out scorpio for some tips 🙂 !! taurus: you deserve a drink for everything you’ve been dealing with. obviously an age-appropriate non-alcoholic drink if you’re under 21. maybe like a capri sun or something. gemini: (italian accent) i got a pizza......

Scallion

Horoscopes 5/6/2020

Contributor to The LeaderMay 6, 2020May 6, 2020

May 6, 2020May 6, 2020

ALEXANDRA WALSHProfessional selfie-taker and simp Aquarius: You came to The Leader the day of your daughter’s wedding to read your horoscope? Pisces: Don’t let these horoscopes define who you are. Aries: Your horoscope 10,000% defines who you are. Don’t listen to Pisces. Taurus: I miss you as much as dads......

Scallion

Horoscopes 5/2/2020

Contributor to The LeaderMay 2, 2020May 2, 2020

May 2, 2020May 2, 2020

ALEXANDRA WALSH Professional comedian and frozen pizza cooker Aquarius: I love and miss you people. Pisces: I bet you’d look beautiful, even with a face mask on. Aries: Aries?? More like HAIR-ES. Just because there’s a stay @ home order doesn’t mean we let ourselves go. Shave, please. Taurus: Finally,......

Scallion

Horoscopes 4/11/2020

Contributor to The LeaderApril 11, 2020April 7, 2020

April 11, 2020April 7, 2020

ALEXANDRA WALSH Guest Scallywag Aquarius: COVID-19? More like Hoevid-19, Aquarius. I see you on Tinder. Pisces: Wash your hands please, thank you. Aries: Social-distance yourself from Geminis… They are never good to quarantine with. Taurus: I know you miss the cutie you used to see every MWF in your class,......

Scallion

Horrorscopes

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 30, 2019October 30, 2019

October 30, 2019October 30, 2019

ARIES You aren’t winning that costume contest this year. TAURUS You’re really being a sexy mermaid … Don’t drown in the creek … or do LEO Vampires like blood … especially yours, Leo. VIRGO You are a trick and a treat, Virgo. Yummmmm. CANCER Freddy’s coming to get you. GEMINI......

Scallion

Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 23, 2019October 21, 2019

October 23, 2019October 21, 2019

ARIES It seems like it mightbe time for you to riseand shine. TAURUS This weekend you willbe rising and shining. LEO #riseandshine VIRGO Don’t bet on sports.You’ll end up losing allyour money and youwon’t be happy whenyou rise and shine. CANCER Rise and shine. LIBRA Libra, you walk too slowin......

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Horoscopes

Horoscopes: Election edition

Horoscopes

Horoscopes

Horoscopes

Horoscopes, 9/12

Horoscopes 5/6/2020

Horoscopes 5/2/2020

Horoscopes 4/11/2020

Horrorscopes

Horoscopes